no matter what kind of illusions of equality we may have the truth is things are different for boys. Snogging her might give a young lad nightmares, but anything "down there" is unlikely to traumatise unless she bites.

If she'd tied him up and done him up the bum with a random kitchen appliance, then that would be a violation. However, since the lad was presumably aroused then it's hard to see how he wasn't merely consenting but actually thoroughly enjoying it.

She does look rough in that photo, but it's a mug shot. She probably looks a lot better with some slap on - especially when you're pissed.