A shaken Oz stag party reveller has recounted how he was left "battered and bloodied" after taking a head shot from a flying dildo.

According to this very silly report, 31-year-old Darwin architect Jure Skumavc joined groom-to-be Peter Rolih and around eight other pals in a Brisbane pad on 28 December for the traditional pre-nuptial blokes' knees-up.

Evidently, it wasn't just the revellers who got their knees well and truly up, because "a scantily clad exotic dancer" entertained the chaps with her party piece - "shooting dildos at the guests".

Suffice it to say, regular Bootnotes readers will not require a technical description of how this works, but for those of you who've never caught a Bangkok floorshow, Skumavc likened it to the "infamous ping-pong ball scene" in Priscilla, Queen of the Desert.

Skumavc explained that the entertainer was firing the artificial todger from one side of the room to the other - an estimated seven metres with a peak altitude of around two metres - apparently targetting guests with the "pink projectile".

He said: "Other people got it in their chest and knees. I was the only one bleeding. It was my turn and it landed straight on my forehead.

"She started apologising straight away but I just said it was fine... then I touched my forehead and there was blood."

As regards the velocity of the "darting dildo", Skumavc noted: "It wasn't a strong shot. It probably just landed on an awkward sort of angle."

The victim was unable to describe the 12cm projectile in detail, emphasising that he didn't have "massive experience with dildos". ®

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2011/02/14 ... _incident/

Wow, most girls can't even throw a ball that far

Try explaining that one to the wife-to-be.

The poor bloke is forever going to be known as 'dick head' now, you just know it.

Jon

Wow welcome to the forums Sid the sexist!

Most definitely. He will never live that one down. I wonder if it is mentioned during the best man's speech?

If its not the best man is simply not doing his job properly

It wont be as bad as one my ex went to. The best man gave such a gushing speech declaring his love for him that the entire reception looked embarrassed at the apparent outing of the groom. One half of the reception were ultra conservative "homosexuality is a sin" type.

I used to run hotels and on one remarkable weekend the best man's speech mentioned the fact that he had enjoyed the brides company all the previous night a riot broke out soon afterwards.

Wasn't Pauline Calf's wedding by any chance? Though if that was the case the marriage was doomed anyway. Eventually that gem would come out and it would be over. Better end it sooner and move on, before kids turn up. Though from the sounds of it their kids were probably pages.

so you were there then

one was the chief bridesmaid.

So were paternity tests carried out on the pages and bridesmaids after the reception?

I wouldn't want to have asked

Yes but with some people who have been failed by the education system for decades we can not be surprised that anything happens. I suppose if the best man was not a relative it did widen the gene pool.