http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/book ... kdown.html

That's obviously going way too far, but the amount of women in my office alone who seem to think Sex and the City is a documentary, well...

That or as a lifestyle guide.

IMO. it's a symptom of a wider societal malaise. We're sold so many visions of perfection - on television, in the cinema, even (as has been suggested) in books that we start to begin to associate them with reality. It's the old 'if you say something often enough, people will start believing it's true' thing. We're all continually sold an ideal the real world doesn't live up to. This goes one of two ways; we either internalise it, leading to depression, anxiety, anorexia, all that kind of stuff or we externalise it, which means we're never satisfied with what we have or what, in reality, we're capable of attaining. The result is people with huge debts from trying to live a lifestyle they can't afford or marital disharmony because one partner becomes unsatisfied because the other doesn't match up to the ideal that they have been conned into thinking they deserve, or any number of other failres.

Some of it is pretty overt - there's the advert for... it's some male toiletry product that uses a male model and the last line is 'I'm on a horse'. The sell line is actually to the woman in a relationship - 'your man may not look as handsome as me, he may not be in as good shape as me, he may simply not be as attractive as me but at least he can smell like me'. I know the ad is tongue in cheek but still. Or any number of shaving adverts with chiselled men who stylishly whip off a day's stubble and instantly find some supermodel fawning all over them. And these are just the ones aimed at blokes, who are famously not self-aware enough for this kind of stuff to work, or at least we were.

It's a toxin leeching into society, a subtle poison we all absorb every day in everything that's presented to us. In that face of all that, it's takes great self-confidence and insight to remain happy with the person we are and the things we have. Now, obviously, I'm not going to say we should have no advertising and no 'aspirational television' or such but maybe we need a society that's more grounded in the realities of life, rather than the fictions.

Jon

+1 though I'd argue we've been there for at least a decade

Oh, and also http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=85HT4Om6JT4

Loving the beer in the bathroom cabinet.

Old spice. I think it's frikkin' fantastic. There's even a sesame street spoof!

Agree with the comments. There's the dream ideal and there's the reality. Especially with buying a nice house, driving a nice car, having kids etc.

Especially if you see what women apparently want in a man. £50000 pa and a silver mercedes. Well that is in top 10% of all earners, so a lot will be permanently disappointed with who they are dating.

What, Jeremy Clarkson?


Somewhat recently I have been on the 'other end' of this. Someone was incredibly discourteous to me while apparently labouring under the impression Brad Pitt was just around the corner desperate to say hello to them. More fool her, frankly.

Jon

Depends if you believe the press

I forgot there was an age limit of 30 as well, so that basically means drug dealers are the top dogs.


Yes I had a friend in a relationship with a woman who looked down on him because he had no degree. Yet he earned much more than her. He is moving out and has bought a house.

Jon's point reminds me of my own situation - I was ditched recently by a girl after 3 years together, foolishly I thought it would go the distance but she thought we were "too different". I couldn't help but feel in reality she thought she could 'do better' and was hunting after someone on a high-5 or 6-figure salary rather than a junior civil servant.

It's fun to ask friends whether or not they'd still be with their partner (assuming a certain level of, uh, social mobility) if they were flipping burgers for minimum wage.
Mostly they'll say no.
It's in our nature to seek out those who will provide for you.
Of course whether or not the person you've found proves to be a good match is another question entirely. I think we'd all like to think that at the very least, our chosen partner has the potential for great things.

Yes but it does show that most women are unrealistic. Most men will not be in that income league and most women will not be attractive enough to land someone in that league.

I have to admit in a (now long past) relationship during one of it's darker moments the... er... forceful discussion went something like

Her : "I could do so much better than you!"
Me : "No, really, you couldn't."

Jon