Firefighters in London have been called to assist people who have become stuck in objects such as handcuffs and toilet seats more than 1,300 times in the last three years.

London Fire Brigade said each instance cost taxpayers some £290, meaning the mishaps have cost at least £377,000.

Emergency callouts included incidents where men had their genitals stuck in a toaster and a vacuum cleaner.

The brigade urged people to think carefully before calling 999.

In 2010-11, crews attended 416 incidents in which people became trapped or stuck in objects.

In 2011-12 this rose to 441 and in 2012-13 it rose again, to 453.

The most common object people needed help to escape from was handcuffs, with 79 callouts since 2010.

I can understand the vacuum, but the toaster?

Are they sure 'toaster' wasn't some sort of euphemism? Because you'd need to be especially small down there or have one kick-ass toaster

I wonder what the NHS stats are on removing objects from orifaces?

Just as long as it's not a Breville toasted sandwich maker. <wince>.

I vaguely remember a story some years ago of an old soldier who somehow impaled himself anally on a cannon shell.

He was using the shell to push his piles back up there, however it got stuck & required the bomb squad to show up as it was actually live.

He was using the shell to push his piles back up there, however it got stuck & required the bomb squad to show up as it was actually live.

Are they sure 'toaster' wasn't some sort of euphemism? Because you'd need to be especially small down there or have one kick-ass toaster

2 words....
pop tarts
Or bagels..