I can see both sides of that, especially if the parents are cocks, but these days every other kid is on the spectrum or has a condition. Quite often a child like my nephew will just have to let it all out, talking will make no difference. Restraining often makes things worse.

In that case, the obvious thing to do seems to be to take the child somewhere where 'letting it all out' won't bust innocent stranger's ear drums i.e. out of the coffee shop to a more open space. Let's be blunt here, if your child is disruptive and upsetting other people, the polite thing is not for everyone else to put up with it, it's for you to do something about it. If that means you have a slightly less enjoyable time, tough, it's your child and that's the deal you signed up for.

Oh, totally, but scenarios need to be taken on their own merit and with patience on both sides, purely because there are so many kids being diagnosed these days. It's gonna require tolerance no matter what the outcome. As the owner said, they rely on families.

Unless kids wear massive signs round their necks saying what they've been diagnosed with, how are people to know the kid that's being disruptive is someone who has behavioural issues and which are just being a massive pain in the arse?

It's not up to everyone else to accommodate all that any child may get away with. We all do go out of our way to maintain a civil society and that does require understanding that children are children and will occasionally misbehave, but that is not a free pass. If a child is making themselves a pain and the parents aren't dealing with it, people absolutely do have a right to tell them to get their [lifted] together.

Frankly, nothing is ever gonna change, unfortunately. Some parents will be cocks, some patrons and owners will be ignorant. It's certainly a balancing act for any conscientious parent. There's no way of teaching a child societal norms without putting them in these situations, really. So when do you write the child off in that sense?

Equally, some parents should have had their bits cut off...

I think 5 minutes is lenient. If you can't get your child back under control in a couple of minutes, then you should think about going somewhere, where the child is not causing a nuisance.

We had friends over at the weekend and their kids were quiet and well behaved for the full 6 hours. The same with our goddaughter, she is only 3, but she is generally well behaved and doesn't make too much noise.

On the other hand, if the café wants to make sure that their guests are not disturbed, then they should provide a room / area where the kids can scream themselves out.

I suggest 'the sea'.

Well, it is a coastal resort, so....

First off, everyone is somewhere on the autistic spectrum. It’s just what comes of being human, and having a population at one point way back in the past of around 7000 individuals.

My wife seems to be getting more and more of them in her class. She has had three years with a few boys who have tantrums in class - throwing chairs, screaming, etc.. One wasn’t diagnosed until recently because the parents refused to accept that there was anything wrong. This seems to be a problem - parents won’t see that their child has problems and won’t do anything to help - even if (in the case of one of the kids I’ve mentioned here) behaves the same way at home. Sometimes, the child seems perfectly OK at home, but has problems when part of a large group of people. It causes panic, confusion and, at times, this manifests itself in hysterics. At the moment, the kid is allowed to to leave the classroom and sit in the library. He’s being taught to apply safety vales to his behaviour.

Next year, there are four who are diagnosed, and it sounds like a few more who are not. The diagnosed ones are the ones who get the support and help for their condition, but with cuts in the budgets, it’s getting harder to get a child statemented and help needed.

There does need to be more help rom parents - it seems that parents see their child in some halo of perfection, and won’t do anything to correct behaviour that is wrong, nor inappropriate for the location or situation they are in. Any attempt by others to correct the child, or to suggest to the parent tat something is wrong is met with hostility.