Toronto is a lovely and tolerant city full of amazing resources for LGBT people and their allies. My many visits resulted in nothing but the fondest of memories. However, Toronto/Ontario taxpayers unwittingly harbor and nurture the most reactionary sexologists in the world. They are all clustered at the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH), formerly the Clarke Institute, nicknamed "Jurassic Clarke" for its antiquated views on sex and gender minorities.

Now CAMH "experts" have set their sights on declaring many of you mentally disordered because of your sexual preferences. Do you prefer people who are "too fat," or "too skinny," or "too tall," or "too short"? Do you think transgender people are beautiful, or do you prefer to date disabled people? Do you get tingly watching sexy cartoons or prefer dressing up and roleplaying during sex? Do you like dating people who are "too old" or "too young" for you? Under the expanded definition of "paraphilia" which CAMH experts hope to codify in 2013, you will likely become a mentally ill paraphilic. This diagnosis could then be put in your medical records and other databases, with all the attendant joys of being declared mentally disordered.

And if that diagnosis doesn't fit, there's always "video game addiction" and "internet addiction," both under discussion for inclusion in the APA's 2013 Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. Read on, future sickos.

Ray Blanchard, who refuses to publicly acknowledge his own sexuality, is leading the push to expand paraphilia. His new proposed definition classifies paraphilia as sexual preference for someone who is not "phenotypically normal." Blanchard and pals are also seeking to make a wide range of sexual interests into thoughtcrimes. You can be diagnosed even if you never act out your fantasies, but just think about them. Before, paraphilias were only diagnosed if they caused "clinical distress," but under the current definition, even those who have self-acceptance about their sexual interests can be diagnosed as mentally disordered. Did I mention that having "too much" or "too little" sex, or painful intercourse are also mental illnesses? These are usually diagnosed for women, where "paraphilia," according to these guys, afflicts men. They consider paraphilia an "erotic target location error," part of a range of "courtship disorders" that can occur in men.

Looks like my penchants for skinny Blond Dwarf Lady Boys will finally get me locked up then

You don't have to slap a label on everything.

Though it is useful sometimes, as otherwise you end up with chickpeas on toast rather than beans on toast

WOW sigged thats a first for me