http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2010 ... hotcourses



Where's Bratty?

In other news an inter-party conspiracy has been uncovered to set off a trident missile in the houses of parliament this week.

It is a believed attempt to end the bitter never ending depression of Westminster scandals. A spokesman from Westminster said " Both the commons and lords are sorry to admit that plans to destroy the centre of our democracy were in action. All MPs voted unanimously to take this course of action, and will still be going ahead with the plans tomorrow"

Bankers and senior civil servants have been rounded up also as part of the "Restart Britain button" bill meant to purge Britain of its ills. Criticism of the bill has been forwarded since the plan is not as encompassing as people expected it to be since it didn't include the population of under 25s who use the word "Like/ Oh my god or and stuff" 4 times in a sentence, the tabloid journalist population or Nicholas cage.

However supporters of the bill have claimed that the problem of journalists will solve itself with Westminster gone the daily mail and express will have little to feed on and on the question of Nicholas cage supporters stated that the American government, though tempted, feels they may lose the "leave your brain at the door" movie industry.
All non American tourists and British public have been warned to stay 5 miles away from the city of Westminster.

When news of the bill came out the house nearly withdrew the bill however since 60% of the population were in favour of the bill and the other 40% didn't care the Bill has gone through parliament in record time and will be signed by the queen at 6:00 am tomorrow.

If you want to see the vaporisation of Westminster tune into BBC1 at 10:00 am tomorrow morning with full coverage, hosted and commentated by Jeremy Clarkson who is out of the bill's scope as part of the "dick heads we love to hate clause” along with Boris Johnson.
The stock market has seen its biggest gains on record with market confidence Higher than ever. And governments round the world are thinking of taking similar courses of action.
The bill has covered the post destruction politics with elective democracy being thrown out for a random selection of 646 people in the UK Aged over 18, with at least 3 A level Cs. This selection will occur every 5 years. A president will be chosen by the house who commands a majority of each head to head knockout vote, with 50:50 results being resolved with a penalty shoot out. Each of these members will receive £120k years with inflation linked pay increase and cannot have expenses or change the new constitution for 50 years. When questioned about the morality of this bill the arch bishop of Canterbury stated that such people included were like the walking dead.