Scientists find formula for a perfect handshake
July 16, 2010 5:30 PM
Researchers claim they have discovered a formula for perfect handshake... and it's much more complicated than you would think.

Despite shaking hands nearly 15,000 times in the average lifetime, 70 percent of people say suffer a crisis of confidence every time the lock hands.

As a result experts from the University of Manchester set out to calculate the perfect handshake and a way of repeatedly recreating it.

Professor Geoffrey Beattie came up with a mathematical formula which takes into account 12 aspects of a hand-shake including vigour, eye contact, hand temperature and positioning.

Beattie then converted this to a five-step process and claims his findings mean everyone can now enjoy worry-free hand shaking… if they have a mathematics degree.

Professor Geoffrey Beattie, who worked on the project for Chevrolet, said: "The human handshake is one of the most crucial elements of impression formation and is used as a source of information for making a judgement about another person.

"The rules for men and women are the same: right hand, a complete grip and a firm squeeze (but not too strong) in a mid-point position between yourself and the other person, a cool and dry palm, approximately three shakes, with a medium level of vigour, held for no longer than two to three seconds, with eye contact kept throughout and a good natural smile with a slow offset with, of course, an appropriate accompanying verbal statement, make up the basic constituent parts for the perfect handshake."


For the mathematically inclined here is his formula



(e) is eye contact (1=none; 5=direct) 5; (ve) is verbal greeting (1=totally inappropriate; 5=totally appropriate) 5; (d) is Duchenne smile - smiling in eyes and mouth, plus symmetry on both sides of face, and slower offset (1=totally non-Duchenne smile (false smile); 5=totally Duchenne) 5; (cg) completeness of grip (1=very incomplete; 5=full) 5; (dr) is dryness of hand (1=damp; 5=dry) 4; (s) is strength (1= weak; 5=strong) 3; (p) is position of hand (1=back towards own body; 5=other person's bodily zone) 3; (vi) is vigour (1=too low/too high; 5=mid) 3; (t) is temperature of hands (1=too cold/too hot; 5=mid) 3; (te) is texture of hands (5=mid; 1=too rough/too smooth) 3; (c) is control (1=low; 5=high) 3; (du) is duration (1= brief; 5=long) 3.

1. Sniff loudly and wipe nose with hand.
2. Wipe hands on trousers.
3. For serious contracts, put serious quantity of flem on hand.
4. Grip with irrepressible force. The handshake is a form of wrestling used to prove your superior power.
5. Stare in their eyes and grin. They need to know just how f*cking crazy you are.
6. State "you agree, yes?"
7. Release victim when they submit.