Hullo, would appreciate your feedback on this site, it's my entry for a travel writing scholarship, would allow me to write an article for Rough Guides if I win It would look good for the judges if people actually read it

Thanks very much if you can add a comment or something, you don't have to read it!

http://journals.worldnomads.com/leeds_m ... wn-Culture

I've just started reading it, but the first thing that's grabbed my attention is that you've written "coca" instead of "cocoa".

OK, finished. It seems a little disjointed in places, I think the opening sentence about the dynamite is out of place. I'm not sure if you're trying to create an air of excitement, or something?

I would also liked to have read more about how the place made you feel. I'm all for descriptive content, but I'd love to know how the air felt, if the breathtaking landscape made you gasp in awe, what emotions you experienced when you found about the stand-off between the villagers and the dredgers etc.

Otherwise good, if a little short? Is there a word limit?

Hello, yes I had 500 words to tell a story, show writing ability, show an eye for detail etc. I tried to create a little showcase rather than set up a real story, my initial drafts were just what you mention, full of more personal points of view. To be honest, reading the sickly, gushing oh aren't I sensitiive, stories of most of the other entrants, I'm glad I made it a little drier, however I know what you mean about disjointed, I think I am always a little too eager to trim things down, assuming people will get bored if not. Thanks for the feedback!

It looks much better now with some likes and a healthy number of views, cheers everyone!

Oh and I wrote Coca because they weren't Cocoa farmers To clarify Bolivia is a massive exporter of cocaine, not chocolate. :p You had me [LIFTED] bricks for a second I'll admit.

Ah, that explains that then!

Read it and left a comment

Thankooo!