Used to drink but stopped. Think I tried a cigarette once and it triggered my asthma. Never tried recreational drugs nor have I wanted to. Caffeine comes in the form of soft drinks, red bull and chocolate.

At uni, friends were messing around with drugs. I experimented with fanta and haribo.

I hate to tell you this, but they were giving you a placebo to cling to so you wouldn't freak out. In the event, chocolate wouldn't have done a damn thing for you beyond providing a tasty snack.

On the subject of drug related BS. When a mate of mine was on speed for the first time, somebody told him that one in a hundred guys would have an allergic reaction, resulting in permanent winkie shrinkage. That was the funniest time I ever heard anyone scream in a toilet.

now that's funny, cruel but extremely funny