Reply to topic  [ 52 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4
I didn't get to debate Kirstie Allsop 
Author Message
Officially Mrs saspro
User avatar

Joined: Wed Jan 06, 2010 7:55 pm
Posts: 4955
Location: on the naughty step
Reply with quote
Zippy wrote:
TheFrenchun wrote:
It makes me laugh how loads of people that are not young females in procreating age discuss issues that don't touch them personally.

So only women aged 16-30 are allowed to discuss a subject if it relates to childbirth?

TheFrenchun wrote:
I just turned 28. No kids, neither have any of my friends below 30 to be fair (except the ones that stayed in my hometown in the sticks). However I have worked two of the world leading companies in my field and manage 500,000 GBP of budget for an iconic project worth over 2 billion.
I know which one I'd pick every single time

Which suits you and is fine, but it doesn't mean that having children early is an invalid choice. It really depends on how each individual measures 'success'

Imagine how you'd feel if all you ever *really* wanted to be was a mother, you weren't really interested in a career other than raising your own children but you bowed to pressure from society and 'feminist career counsellors' to go to university, have a career and be successful before you settled down because "there's plenty of time".

Imagine how you would then feel at the age of 30 when your Doctor told you that you were unable to have children now, perhaps if you'd started earlier you'd be eligible for fertility assistance or medical intervention, but at the ripe old age of 30 there was nothing currently to be done. Imagine it breaking up a 13 year relationship because of the strain on both people.

You probably can't imagine that because it's not what you want from life, but surely you can see that for someone who spent their entire life looking forward to having children of their own, it's devastating. Made all the worse when you meet "The One" and have to tell that person that you won't be able to have children with them. Then imagine that door shutting a bit more firmly as you discover at the age of 35 that you aren't eligible for adoption.

You may not care to be a mother, but there are women who would really have benefited from a bit more understanding from 'careers counsellors' and just this kind of advice and assistance from family and friends, women who might have read an article like the one under discussion and talked it over seriously with their partner of 13 years a bit sooner and taken the scary step of trying to start a family young, picking up a career later in life.

Before you respond from your own POV again, please bear in mind that I am one of those women, I regret not trying for children earlier and although I am now resigned to the fact that I will never have my own family, it doesn't *in any way* lessen the feelings I have about the subject. Since I am not trying to get you to change your mind about your own situation, I don't need you to come back and justify anything to me. I'm very glad that you are living the life you love and that you don't feel the need to have children, that's great, for you. I still feel that Kirstie's article and the points she raises about young women are valid and should be discussed in homes up and down the country, all over the world.

No need to lock the thread, I'm done.


You don't know me ok. You're not the only one with problems, I don't use mine to get my point across.
Let's say you graduate from a good university, get a good job, find out in your early 20s that you can't have kids and nobody cares, especially not GPs. Your mother and aunts and grandmother nag you everytime you see them about when you'll have grandchildren and see no value or pride in the fact you achieve something great in your field.

Neither of us has a life representative of 90% of women out there but to say that women get pressured by feminist agenda is bollocks. If anything, family pressure to get breeding starts for the time you settle with anyone.


Wed Jul 09, 2014 4:29 pm
Profile WWW
Official forum cat lady
User avatar

Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 8:04 am
Posts: 11039
Location: London
Reply with quote
TheFrenchun wrote:

You don't know me ok. You're not the only one with problems, I don't use mine to get my point across.
Let's say you graduate from a good university, get a good job, find out in your early 20s that you can't have kids and nobody cares, especially not GPs. Your mother and aunts and grandmother nag you everytime you see them about when you'll have grandchildren and see no value or pride in the fact you achieve something great in your field.

Neither of us has a life representative of 90% of women out there but to say that women get pressured by feminist agenda is bollocks. If anything, family pressure to get breeding starts for the time you settle with anyone.


Sounds like you need to talk to your family. My mother and I discussed children from early teens and she educated me on every kind of birth control. She never judged me when I didn't have children. There are certainly pelnty of kids out there, we don't all need to procreate. If you can't speak to your family who do you speak to? They are the one constant in your life and only know about problems if you tell them.

You say GPs don't care about fertility problems? Then maybe you're not shouting enough. I certainly did not have any difficulties in getting to the hospital for tests.

No one is critisizing anyone and it's general discussion. Hope you're not listening to Slayer again.

_________________
Still the official cheeky one ;)

jonbwfc wrote:
Caz is correct though


Thu Jul 10, 2014 9:06 am
Profile
Officially Mrs saspro
User avatar

Joined: Wed Jan 06, 2010 7:55 pm
Posts: 4955
Location: on the naughty step
Reply with quote
oceanicitl wrote:
TheFrenchun wrote:

You don't know me ok. You're not the only one with problems, I don't use mine to get my point across.
Let's say you graduate from a good university, get a good job, find out in your early 20s that you can't have kids and nobody cares, especially not GPs. Your mother and aunts and grandmother nag you everytime you see them about when you'll have grandchildren and see no value or pride in the fact you achieve something great in your field.

Neither of us has a life representative of 90% of women out there but to say that women get pressured by feminist agenda is bollocks. If anything, family pressure to get breeding starts for the time you settle with anyone.


Sounds like you need to talk to your family. My mother and I discussed children from early teens and she educated me on every kind of birth control. She never judged me when I didn't have children. There are certainly pelnty of kids out there, we don't all need to procreate. If you can't speak to your family who do you speak to? They are the one constant in your life and only know about problems if you tell them.

You say GPs don't care about fertility problems? Then maybe you're not shouting enough. I certainly did not have any difficulties in getting to the hospital for tests.

No one is critisizing anyone and it's general discussion. Hope you're not listening to Slayer again.


Why do you think I only see my family twice a year? ;)

Also, GP's don't care about fertility issues for women in their 20s. They just said " come back later if you think about having kids"


Thu Jul 10, 2014 9:41 am
Profile WWW
Legend

Joined: Sun Apr 26, 2009 12:30 pm
Posts: 45931
Location: Belfast
Reply with quote
Large decrease in number of births, ONS figures show
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-28330429

Quote:
The number of births in England and Wales fell in 2013 by the largest annual amount in nearly 40 years, official figures show.

The Office for National Statistics said live births decreased from 729,674 to 698,512 in 2013, down 4.3% which is the biggest fall since 1975.

The average age of mothers was 30 compared with 29.8 years in 2012.

The "total fertility rate" - the number of children per woman - decreased from 1.94 to 1.85.
...

Nearly half of all babies (47.4%) were born outside marriage or civil partnership in 2013. The ONS said this continued a rising trend, with the figure 41.4% in 2003.


:o , didn't think any change would be that drastic. Best personal guess is the economy...

_________________
Plain English advice on everything money, purchase and service related:

http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/


Wed Jul 16, 2014 10:48 pm
Profile
Officially Mrs saspro
User avatar

Joined: Wed Jan 06, 2010 7:55 pm
Posts: 4955
Location: on the naughty step
Reply with quote
Rent going through the roof, job uncertainties, pay cuts etc


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Thu Jul 17, 2014 7:02 am
Profile WWW
Spends far too much time on here
User avatar

Joined: Thu Apr 23, 2009 6:59 pm
Posts: 4932
Location: Sestriere, Piemonte, Italia
Reply with quote
Caz, thanks for sharing. A good bit of vulnerability is something I always appreciate.


Sat Jul 19, 2014 1:11 pm
Profile
Official forum cat lady
User avatar

Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 8:04 am
Posts: 11039
Location: London
Reply with quote
okenobi wrote:
Caz, thanks for sharing. A good bit of vulnerability is something I always appreciate.


:)

_________________
Still the official cheeky one ;)

jonbwfc wrote:
Caz is correct though


Sat Jul 19, 2014 4:02 pm
Profile
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Reply to topic   [ 52 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 58 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group
Designed by ST Software.