And funny little 5 digit number plates.

and funny little six digit hands

I've just realised I've got a crack in the bottom of my shoe.

Looks like time to change in to my trainers (when I can brave walking across the snow to my car)

The Tax system, explained in beer.

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to £100.
If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this...

The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay £1.
The sixth would pay £3.
The seventh would pay £7.
The eighth would pay £12.
The ninth would pay £18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay £59.
So, that's what they decided to do.

The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve.
"Since you are all such good customers," he said, "I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by £20." Drinks for the ten now cost just £80.

The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes.
So the first four men were unaffected.
They would still drink for free. But what about the other six men? The paying customers?

How could they divide the £20 windfall so that everyone would get his fair share?

They realized that £20 divided by six is £3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer.

So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.

And so the fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings)
The sixth now paid £2 instead of £3 (33% savings).
The seventh now pay £5 instead of £7 (28% savings).
The eighth now paid £9 instead of £12 (25% savings).
The ninth now paid £14 instead of £18 (22% savings).
The tenth now paid £49 instead of £59 (16% savings).

Each of the six was better off than before.
And the first four continued to drink for free.

But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings.

"I only got a pound out of the £20,"declared the sixth man.
He pointed to the tenth man," but he got £10!"
"Yeah, that's right," exclaimed the fifth man.
"I only saved a pound too. It's unfair that he got ten times more than I!"
"That's true!!" shouted the seventh man. "Why should he get £10 back when I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks!"
"Wait a minute," yelled the first four men in unison. "We didn't get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!"

The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.

The next night the tenth man didn't show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn't have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!

And that, boys and girls, journalists and college professors, is how our tax system works.

The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction.
Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore.
In fact, they might start drinking overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.

David ************, Ph.D.
Professor of Economics.

For those who understand, no explanation is needed.
For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible.

Our Lager,

Which art in barrels,

Hallowed be thy drink,

Thy will be drunk,

At home as I am in the tavern.

Give us this day, our foamy head,

And forgive us our spillages,

As we forgive those who spill against us,

And lead us not into incarceration,

But deliver us from hangovers.

For thine is the beer,

the bitter and the lager,

For ever and ever,

Before I read the word 'shoe' the word 'arse' sprang into my mind.

I was worried that your intestines would have been backed up to the ceiling.

Do a beer, a Mexican beer,
Re the guy I bought it from,
Me the guy I bought it for,
Fa a long long way to store,
So I think I’ll have a beer,
La la la la la la la,
Te no thanks I’ve got a beer,
and it brings us back to Do-o-o-o.

Moe's Bar is the place for drinking
It's a very good drinking bar
Want to eat? There's no point in coming here
When you drink what you say is "Moe! A Beer"

(Moe! A Beer)

So make instructions very clear:
Moe! A Beer

(Moe! A Beer)

Moe! A beer although I've no...

[Spoken:]
No, let's make it harder for him to realize...


Moe - a beer, I need a beer
A - is eaten by a 'orse
Beer - a drink that's made by Duff
Al - who'll buy me one, of course
Though - a needle pulling ththread
I've - an idea you don't know
No - no idea what I've said

Which will bring us back to
Dough - D'Oh! No dough


MOE!
A beer, give me a beer
A!
Indefinitely, one
BEER!
And then another beer
AL!
Yankovic is fun
THOUGH!
Needle'th thtill pulling ththread
I'VE!
Not much more song to go
NO!
Is what you're gonna say

When I say that I've no
DOUGH!

Moe, a beer although I've no dough
D'Oh! No dough!

just had my project Canned

Just nearly canned my project

All I can say is, thank HP for iLO or I'd have been totally shafted

When configuring network thingies, it's best not to break the one you're using for remote access to the mission critical server in a secure facility in Docklands. Especially when it's snowing and you're 70 miles away.

Aaarggg! One careless click followed by 5 hours of panicking. I came to the conclusion:

1. I can't admin the switch by telnet or http, but I can ping it. I'm questioning the wisdom of using a cheap switch when it's the single point of failure.
2. Although the server is connected by two LAN ports, the switch is segmented in such a way that I can't reach the other one. I can ping it from one of the other boxes, but that doesn't help me.
3. The router in our office is nearly as rubbish as the switch, and needed rebooting twice to get the VPN link back up. I hadn't set it up wrong, it was just being stupid.
4. HP do a 60 day Evaluation License for Integrated Lights-Out Advanced, which worked perfectly

Didn't we have a "What was the stupidest thing you done today?" thread, or was that the old place?

I'm glad that even professionals think like this when doing networky stuff.

If I ever meet one I'll ask them. I'm not feeling very "pro" at all after last night

*pokes server*

Yep, still working

Hmm, the phrase Mission Critical and Single PoF in the same post. That's a bit worrying.

Sadly all too common though