I have a friend, who has met several women online through dating services. They were all good looking, but mad as hatters!

I mean, really disturbed, should be in therapy mad. One had borderline personality disorder and did a lot of damage - luckily, I'd been there, done that and suffered more / longer and I could point it out to him, eventually (my bpd found me in a bar, in Frankfurt, so it isn't just an online phenomenen)...

The only problem with online dating is the internet.

The only place where Men are men, Women are men and children are FBI officers.

LOL!

I got an email this morning... from jennicute in Santa Barabara...

Damn stupid bots.

I know two people who have met their respective partners using on-line dating so it must work for some at least.

I met my wife on-line. It will be our second wedding anniversary next month.

If you are serious about it, then I would consider that one of the more reputable sites has to be a good place to start. On less reputable sites, You will get loads of fake contact.

For a start, if the option is there to be a member free of charge, then lots of apparently gorgeous women will attempt to contact you to until you cough up, then they will all magically lose interest.

You will get loads of women asking you to visit a third party site to verify your identity which, oddly enough, requires you to use a credit card.

You will get women who are all apparently gorgeous and under 25, with such strangely identical lives that they even manage to compose identical emails, even though one lives in Poole and another in Edinburgh.

Basically, you will get lots of crap.

There is a site out there which women can join free of charge. It is not so much a dating site as a "bit on the side" site, although there are members who are looking for genuine relationships. The problem is that as women don't have to pay for full membership and can afford to bombard male users with emails without bothering to pay for the privilege and it seems that they can't even be bothered reading a user's profile- both the email and the site information reveal that they have never bothered.

In terms of creating a lasting relationship, lists of apparent matches come through and don't ask what this information is based on, because it isn't age, it isn't distance and it isn't profile criteria, so it must be b*ll*cks.

DON'T ask me how I know all this.

Anyway, the point is, once again, if you are serious about on-line dating with a view to a lasting relationship, find a good site, pay for it, and beware of scams and time-wasters.

OK, so what's the generally accepted etiquette once you have exchanged a few emails online? (Just out of interest)

What is the next step?

Meeting up in person (for a coffee or food or something)? Talking on the phone?

Being a complete noob I'm not sure and thought I'd ask here given the number of success stories there are here.

In my case, we emailed/texted for a bit, then met for a coffee which actually became dinner as I was hungry. We were getting along so well that we lost track of time and when I looked up, the place we were in was stacking all the chairs up to close, it was nearly midnight.
We met again the week after and it just went on from there.

Photos

Nah what you said is good usually, just playing it by ear, casual-ish (as in don't take her to a cage fight.... unless that is her sort of thing) is fine to get to know each other face to face

A request for payment to pay for medical treatment / flight tickets / help a relative / transfer fees for Nigerian Lottery winnings ????

I would normally say that this is too full on for a first meeting, but it's obviously worked for you.

Oli, coffee date is the best choice. Get to meet, talk and look at each other for a bit. Allow a couple hours tops. Then you've got your options open. Second date confirms you wanna see where it goes.

Don't put too much pressure on yourself (or her).

Coolio

Thanks

I was happy for just coffee but my stomach had other ideas! Thankfully we just clicked then.

I met the “current” SWMBO on a Friendship / dating site. We actually started talking about motorcycles and exchanged e-mails on / off for a couple of years until we actually met. Still together almost 7 yrs later



For those that I actively dated at the time it generally went
- Messages via the site & photo if they didn’t have one
- E-mail address handed out and e-mails
- Phone chat(s)
- Meet for coffee / beer / cinema – all standard 1st date type stuff
- Then...............