No need to worry I think that your family will probably stick a bullet in your head just to be sure.

Charming!

Mark

Honestly, they couldn't fire a Nerf gun.

I don't want a BS religious ceremony, not so much as a 'Would anyone like to say a few words?'. Just stick me in the cheapest box going, burn me and do what you like with the ashes.

Why not say that you want a Viking ceremony and get the buggers to find a dinghy and set it alight with flaming arrows. Solves the burning and spreads the ashes at the same time.

Actually, maybe I'll ask for my ashes to be taken out of this part of Belfast at least; it's a bloody sh1thole.

Yes but unless you upset someone the odds are that your death will be a long time coming. I expect we will hear about an explosion involving Bratty long before then.

I like to plan sh1t, I suspect my nephew will get quite the windfall of cash and old comics

Bury me vertically, in a linen sack and plant an apple tree on my head. At least I'll be useful after my death.

The l3v1ck principle:
The severity of a problem that occurs during a working day is inversely proportional to the amount of time left in that working day.

Though only partially useful unless you get planted near another apple tree for cross fertilisation.

Breaking Bad remix (for those who don't care about spoilers) makes me want to watch them all again.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WzhW20hLp6M

send your ashes this way to donate to the local council, with your extra "muscle" mass the roads here could do with a makeshift pothole filler

*hides*

Even I won't be able to help Scotland if Salmond gets his way. You'll be servicing the Masons

Saudi Arabia , as of April 2013, now allow women to ride bicycles.

[LIFTED] progress.

(still can't go to the cinema, but what do you expect when religion is allowed free rein?)

I saw that on the Mark Kermode 'anti-Oscar' show - it was a film I'll never watch so I can't remember the name