Making myself a cup of coffee. Simple, no? These are the steps I took.

1. Boil the kettle.
2. Put sugar in cup.
3. Put coffee in cup.
4. Put tea bag in cup.
5. Pour water into... AAARRRGGGHHH coffee AND tea bag!
6. Remove tea bag, whilst swearing.

Tastes a little strange. Not bad... just unusual. Can't be bothered starting again, so I guess I'll have to live and learn.

Wife phoned me at work to say the Mac is displaying a blue screen and making funny noises

I didn't even know Macs did blue screens. Hope it's nothing too serious.

In other news, I've installed windOwS X I mean 10 ( ) to dual boot with Win 7. Upshot is that I need a new SSD as the crappy old laptop drive that I installed it on is... well... old and crappy!

They don't. I thought it was a grey / black screen?

They do - clickety. Could be a software fault although if it's making funny noises that suggests hardware.

They blue screen, grey screen and whitescreen depending on the error.
Sounds like the gpu (which may be covered by the recall they did on iMacs)

I failed like a great big failing thing failing harder than any failwhale ever has earlier this evening when I tried to spell croissant correctly.

Mark

So if your Mac won't go past a grey screen even when booting into safe mode, to a recovery partition, to a time machine backup and even to an OSX DVD, what does that mean?

You're f**ked?

Seriously though, sounds like a hardware fault, possibly hard drive but maybe the logic board (fingers crossed it's not the latter).

A couple of suggestions...

1. Reset the SMC (System Management Chip) - the procedure differs slightly depending on model but google "Reset SMC" should find the Apple article. Most recent Macs, it just involves shutting down and unplugging from the mains for a few minutes, but some models with built-in (non-removeable) battery you have to press a keyboard combo as well I think.

2. Tried Apple's Internet Restore option - this is intended for when your hard drive fails, taking out the recovery partition. I think you start up with Command+R keys held down, but don't quote me on that. If it works, it's basically the same as the Recovery Partition, except it's booting directly from Apple's servers. First thing to check is Disk Utility to see if your hard drive shows up - if so, click Verify Disk button.

Might be worth starting a new thread in the Mac Hardware section?

Cheers. Tried the SMC and no luck. Will try the internet restore thing. I'm thinking of maybe looking into SOGA 1979 for my rights if it's knackered as it's only just out of warranty and there's some smearing in the screen to (backlight bleed?)

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... Mafia.html

There's no winning that argument in America I imagine.

http://support.apple.com/kb/TS5167 is this your model?

Its is but it's not the gfx issue. Also my model had a replacement issued for failing Seagate HDDs but not my serial number.

In other fail news I can't get Apple to trace the original order (which I need for repair) as I need the invoice resending. I think I have a copy of the invoice... on the computer that's broken!

That's not the fail though. The actual fail is Apple not being able to see orders older than 18 months old. What the actual [LIFTED].

So I need the invoice to have a repair carried out (a consumer law claim) as it's a 3rd party authorised repairer as there's no nearby Apple Store and I can't get the bleeding invoice because it's on the Mac that's broken and Apple can't resend it as it's older than 18 months old arrrgggghhhhhhhhhhhhh

*breathe*

A grey screen on boot (or white or blue) is a sign of a a failed GPU (My MBP has done the same)

I get the Apple logo and can launch the Apple Hardware Tool using an OSX DVD so I do get an image.

The internet seems to suggest a HDD failure. And typically it has been about a month since my last backup!