I don't know the mechanics of it, but would it be possible to buy out Geekette's half of the mortgage so the house is then in your name? Potentially, then you can sell it - albeit at a loss in the current market - which may help pay of a chunk of the mortgage in the longer run.

Not being a mortgagee, I've probably missed something blindingly obvious there. Others will no doubt correct me, or just laugh and point fingers at me for being a n00b.

If he can afford to buy out geekette it would probably make more sense to try and retain the property if that is an option, would certainly lead to less loss in the long run if you don't have to sell immediately. I'm aware there are many emotional reasons this may not be something Mark wants to do, but on a purely fiscal note it would probably make more sense.

Been there, done that (although we were not married) and threw the t-shirt away....... except in my case you can add something else not very nice to the equation The thing that got me was the fact that I could get it so wrong - not reading the signs and getting stuffed with all the debts. I'm still paying for my mistakes but a small period of lying on my back, paralysed and not knowing if I was going to ever walk again put it all into perspective. You'll get through this Mark and you'll be the stronger for it - we are all here for you.

PM on its way with some practical advice based on experience.

Al

It never rains.

As I have suggested in my other posts today, all is not rosy with my marriage, but I've said before (possibly with a hint of bravado) that I fear the consequences of the financial situation more than almost anything else, and if I were to divorce, I wouldn't even have the debt and job problems that you have on top.

As noted, the British legal system can sometimes stink, but I don't quite see how they can touch your "half" of the house unless it's given up as part of a divorce settlement. I really don't know.

I wish you all the best, Mark.

woah. TBH this has come as a bit of a surprise, but then again I don't participate nearly enough to pick everything up. Honestly thought geekette was a girlfriend, not a wife. Genuinely surprised that $h!7 is being dumped on you. They say bad luck runs in threes - I really hope wife/debt/job is the three and that there's not something else waitig to kick you whilst you're down.

Dunno about you but I personally find wallowing in self-pity can be cathartic and gives me a chance to start again. A bit like bereavement but not so severe. I'm sure you'll find your feet again. It may help posting over at moneysavingexpert forums to get an idea - people seem to be more financially knowledgable there.

Feel for you, man. Pull through.

Yes but with property prices falling it is a tough choice as to what to do. I have a friend in the same boat. He and his girlfriend are splitting up, she wanted to move to a smaller place in a crappier area so she could spoil her kids. He is looking at buying her out.

Hey Mark, what doesn't kill you.....

Been through the divorce thing myself twice. The first time was a decade ago and it was my decision. Got through it with the help of my family. The second time we were not officially married but he's still on the mortgage and it still hurt. I wallowed for a few weeks as I was devastated but life does go on.

Feel free to vent any upsets or frustrations as a problem shared and all that.

Chin up

That's quite a triple whammy.

In addition to CAB you may also find Shelter to be a helpful source of information, their website may provide some useful information and they also have a freephone number for initial advice.

If you happen to be a member of a trade union you may be entitled to free or reduced cost intial legal advice (and somewhat better than the 'free' advice you'll get from a normal lawyer).

If bankruptcy of one of the mortgage parters is a possibility then you will need to inform your lender at some point although I'd try and talk to CAB/Shelter first and see what they say.

At least there aren't any children involved.

Far too many people use the children as a weapon in an acrimonious split. Unfortunately this always comes back to haunt them when it is discovered.

So I just spoke with my solicitor and I'm not particularly happy.
Apparently it's the worst case scenario.
Any shortfall in the sale of the house the creditors will come to me for the full amount. Even the redundancy money that I'll get isn't safe.
I'm really very unhappy right now.

Mark

Unfortunately that’s the way it is

(I used to work in a Bank as a Lending manager so)

The debts can be classed as either

Joint Liability
Or
Just Her liability

Anything in joint names (Mortgage, Bank Accounts etc) then BOTH parties are liable for the full amount.

Anything just in her name - it’s not your problem except she will have claims on half of any joint savings etc.

The big question then is the house
Can you service the mortgage on your own. If its in negative equity then (assume she lets you) there is no money to pay her. Yoour mortgage lender may be sympathetic as its options are
- Let you take ownership and it still get repayments
- Force a sale and lose money

Assuming you took it over can you get a lodger or if you are working away from home rent it out?

I would (if your haven’t done so already) open a new bank account to get any wages / redundancy paid into and then transfer enough to pay your share of the bills

If you have any savings take it out as cash and hide it – do you have family / friends you could trust to look after an “envelope”

^^^That's what I was thinking of. If you can use the cash to "repay a loan", then you don't have any assets other than the house, no?

So the best legal advise is probably to hire a hitman?

and charge it to her credit card