One of the Hitch Hiker's books starts exactly that way.

Do you want to talk about it? We'd understand if you don't, of course.

I was just going to say the same thing, except for the HHGTTG reference...

Well it's like this:

Child number 2 has 'issues'. He gets very frustrated and doesn't work very well in a team environment unless he's the leader and everybody else is doing his bidding. He thinks everybody hates him and the world is out to get him. He has a temper. He also has little respect for anybody else.

Last year, our regular childminder (famed for making Attila the Hun look like a sissy) refused to look after him and terminated our contract. We found him another excellent childminder but unfortunately she could only look after him until the start of school a couple of weeks ago. We tried everybody that was qualified and found the last childminder in our town willing to take him on. He lasted 6 days Unfortunately his attitude was rubbing off on her 4 year old and, after a verbal tirade for him, she threw in the towel.

Yesterday we had a phone call from the school. Alistair went off on one of his rants and bawled out the teacher in front of the class. We have an appointment at 1pm today to discuss the issue.

We attend the Rowan Centre which is a local unit geared to assessing 'awkward' children. Although borderline, they have decided he doesn't fit the bill for ADHD or Aspergers which is a relief but doesn't help us. He shows all the signs of ADHD and I have been requesting he see a physcologist for the past year at least - at home the wife and I have tried all the coping strategies, have spent money on books etc and nothing seems to work. Our eldest child is now feeling the strain as it appears to him that we are expending all our energies and attention on the youngest - partially true and we are aware of this.

It's not a great situation and the wife is now on medication to help her cope. I'm doing the best I can but am slowly losing the battle due to my injury. It seems a never ending uphill struggle which, without family in the area to help, is steadily getting worse. I am kind of hoping that Alistair will be excluded from school for a week so we can show the Rowan Centre there is a problem because every time somebody is sent to assess Alistair or he attends the clinic he's an absolute angel

Combine the above with lack of sleep (see previous thread) and the Mac houshold is not the best place to be at the moment.

Ending on an upbeat note (as suggested by one of the books I'm currently reading), my niece got 2 x A's, 1 x A*, 4 x B's and a C in her GSCE's - far better than was predicted. Well done Lucy

Al

Having had a read through, this is the bit that grabbed my attention.

Is this a regular occurence? The reason I ask is that I'm wondering if you could go to your G.P. explain the situation and ask for a referral to a child psychologist, citing the school as a reference if required. I'm sure that they, (the school) have your sons welfare at heart and would be more than happy to say that he has a problem if it would mean he gets the help he requires.

Hope this helps,

John.

PS. if you've already done this pleasea accept my apologies for stating the obvious!

Crikey, Al!

I don't have wee'uns, so I am not best placed to offer advice in such matters.

All I can do, therefore, is offer good vibes in the hopes they help a little.

Cheers for the support peeps - it all helps.

John - the problem is that nobody in authority has seen him during one of his episodes and, having just had the meeting with his teacher, it would appear this was the first incident at school. It was also not as bad as we imagined but as he was shouting with rage the incident had a) to be reported and b) we had to be informed.

I think one of the main issues is that the Rowan Centre have let us down badly. It has been almost two years since our first appointment (suggested by the school doctor) and in that time we have had 3 'officers' assigned to us. Each time an officer is appointed we have to go through the whole procedure again so they can get a 'feel' for the case. Each 'doctor' needs to see us interacting with Alistair and its been over a month since he was referred to the educational psycologist by the head doc. The good news is that the school can push things along and allocate one from their resources - which is happening this afternoon

More positive news is that Alistair excells at maths and reading and is amongst the top 3 in his class in both subjects.

Al

I don't know if this is of any help but thinking about it my step-son had a very similar problem at school and in the end they put him on report... let me just take a step back and say he is, (or was 12 at the time, and as I don't know Alistair's age, I don't know how relevant this will be) but anyway, they put him on report and luckily one member of staff, (I think it was the head of year) basically took him aside and explained why he had to behave at school and what was expected of him and said that he was going to put Alex on report and if his behaviour improved he would make it worth his while.

In under a month Alex was transformed from a boy we were geting two or three 'phone calls a week about to a model pupil. We asked that he be kept on report for a month or so, (maybe a little longer) and we took great delight in showing him the difference in the report cards, from the first one, (constant comments about mis-behaviour) to the latter ones, where every teacher was singing his praises, and he responded very positively, as he realised that behaving at school made him feel better about himself and he now goes to school with a whole new attitude, wanting to get on with it and learn stuff, and not "hang around with the bad kids getting in trouble"

By the way, when I say that the teacher said he would make it worth his while, I think that after a few weeks of good reports he gave him a bar of chocolate or a bag of sweets, which Alex saw as a bonus!

Hope this helps.

John.

Edit to add: When Alex was first put on report we would look at his report card every evening and sit down with him and talk about what had happened during the day, and discuss how he could improve his behaviour for the next day.

We never actually bribed him to behave but we did "suggest" that "good boys get stuff bought for them and naughty boys don't!" Don't know how much help this is, but it worked for us.

Edit, (again) to add:



Even with life being poo, you still took the time to format your post in order to avoid stretching the forum! Well done that man!

Sorry, just trying to cheer you up a bit, after giving some, (hopefully useful) advice

Coming on? I've been having a mid-life crisis since my teens!

Bumming around on a beach in Dorset is my dream. We were joking here in the Bat Cave on Monday about moving down there en bloc. I could easily leave BB to sell the house and join me later.

S'not gonna happen though.

I was fantasizing and looking at houses around Brighton last week. Oh the views! And what a wonderful lifestyle. But alas my Mum is only 10 minutes away from me at the moment and I can't see her upping sticks and moving to the coast so it's unlikely to happen.

I'd love to give up work and live in the country. My boyfriend and I are watching things like River Cottage and coming over all 'good life'. Tom and Barbara have a lot to answer for!

Brighton is too crowded for me. Shoreham would suit me better, relatively quiet, but only a short train/bus journey from Brighton itself...

J_V, sorry to hear about your dad. I hope things are as painless and easy as possible for him *hugs* see you when you feel like being back around.xx

I like Shoreham, Rottingdean, Saltdean and even Peacehaven. Used to have a friend that lived around Brighton so saw quite a lot when I used to visit her.

Peter Osgood's mother-in-law lived in Peacehaven and I went to visit her a couple of years ago before she died (Peter Osgood was a famous Chelsea player if you didn't know. He was married to my step sister's best friend)

JV sorry to hear about your father too. My Dad has been ill for a few years now but he's not doing too badly. He had his hip replaced last week and was out of hospital after 3 days. I was quite impressed.

Hugs and best wishes to you.

I want to live at Durdle Door, but I'd need broadband.

Mark

Durdle Door? Wasn't he in the Harry Potter films?

Sorry, etc... it's all in the sig



23 years? When did they raise the retirement age to 90 ?

:Maybe_Trying_Too_Hard_With_The_Humour: