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Amnesia10
Legend
Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 2:02 am
Posts: 29240
Location: Guantanamo Bay (thanks bobbdobbs)
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We choose to masturbate, not because it is easy, but because it is hard.
_________________Do concentrate, 007... "You are gifted. Mine is bordering on seven seconds." https://www.dropbox.com/referrals/NTg5MzczNTkhttp://astore.amazon.co.uk/wwwx404couk-21
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| Fri Sep 20, 2013 2:22 am |
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Amnesia10
Legend
Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 2:02 am
Posts: 29240
Location: Guantanamo Bay (thanks bobbdobbs)
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I know i'm watching way too much porn when I can differentiate the key Portuguese words in 'big butt Brazilian asses' and I know for a fact my German's coming on too..
_________________Do concentrate, 007... "You are gifted. Mine is bordering on seven seconds." https://www.dropbox.com/referrals/NTg5MzczNTkhttp://astore.amazon.co.uk/wwwx404couk-21
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| Mon Oct 28, 2013 11:14 am |
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l3v1ck
What's a life?
Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 10:21 am
Posts: 12700
Location: The Right Side of the Pennines (metaphorically & geographically)
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This chap at work went to see a psychic last week. She told him the usual, "you will come into some money" and he thought nothing of it. You won't believe it but last night he went and slept with a girl called Penny!!
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| Thu Oct 31, 2013 7:51 am |
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oceanicitl
Official forum cat lady
Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 8:04 am
Posts: 11039
Location: London
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What weights 7lbs and won't be plucked this Christmas?
Lou Reeds' guitar
_________________Still the official cheeky one 
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| Fri Nov 01, 2013 12:04 pm |
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saspro
Site Admin
Joined: Thu Apr 23, 2009 5:53 pm
Posts: 8603
Location: location, location
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What's the difference between light & hard?
You can fall asleep with a light on
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| Fri Nov 01, 2013 12:12 pm |
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oceanicitl
Official forum cat lady
Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 8:04 am
Posts: 11039
Location: London
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Just thought I'd nip over to my Nan's, and fair play to her, at 96, she had all the Halloween decorations up, cobwebs and insects in the windows and a skeleton on the couch.
She always makes a big effort, but there was no answer...I'll pop back next year......
_________________Still the official cheeky one
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| Fri Nov 01, 2013 12:35 pm |
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Paul1965
I haven't seen my friends in so long
Joined: Thu Apr 23, 2009 8:29 pm
Posts: 5975
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I have a transvestite friend who lives near Manchester. He has a Wigan address.
_________________
"I hadn't known there were so many idiots in the world until I started using the Internet." - Stanislaw Lem
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| Fri Nov 01, 2013 1:25 pm |
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AlunD
Site Admin
Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 6:12 am
Posts: 7011
Location: Wiltshire
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_________________
<input type="pickmeup" name="coffee" value="espresso" />
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| Fri Nov 01, 2013 3:37 pm |
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jonbwfc
What's a life?
Joined: Thu Apr 23, 2009 7:26 pm
Posts: 17040
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what sort of cheese can you use to blindfold a horse?
Mascarpone.
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| Tue Nov 05, 2013 11:33 am |
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l3v1ck
What's a life?
Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 10:21 am
Posts: 12700
Location: The Right Side of the Pennines (metaphorically & geographically)
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I've started a pioneering business.
I sell pie and earrings.
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| Tue Nov 19, 2013 12:37 pm |
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John_Vella
I haven't seen my friends in so long
Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 7:55 am
Posts: 7935
Location: Manchester.
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Ok, brace yourselves, kids... This is a good one! I read today that pop band "The Kaiser Chiefs" are planning on losing weight in the new year. I predict a diet  Sent from my big ass Sony Xperia Z Ultra tabphonelet, using Tapatalk 4. _________________John Vella BSc (Hons), PGCE - Still the official forum prankster and crude remarker  Sorry  I'll behave now. Promise
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| Sun Dec 22, 2013 11:33 pm |
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Paul1965
I haven't seen my friends in so long
Joined: Thu Apr 23, 2009 8:29 pm
Posts: 5975
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Not sure if this has been posted previously...
I was at the bar the other night and overheard three very hefty women talking at the bar. Their accent appeared to be Scottish, so I approached and asked, "Hello, are you three lassies from Scotland?” One of them angrily screeched, "It's Wales! Wales you bloody idiot!”
So I apologised and replied, "I am so sorry. Are you three whales from Scotland?”
And that's the last thing I remember....
_________________
"I hadn't known there were so many idiots in the world until I started using the Internet." - Stanislaw Lem
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| Mon Dec 23, 2013 1:44 pm |
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Amnesia10
Legend
Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 2:02 am
Posts: 29240
Location: Guantanamo Bay (thanks bobbdobbs)
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Brilliant. _________________Do concentrate, 007... "You are gifted. Mine is bordering on seven seconds." https://www.dropbox.com/referrals/NTg5MzczNTkhttp://astore.amazon.co.uk/wwwx404couk-21
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| Mon Dec 23, 2013 5:34 pm |
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pcernie
Legend
Joined: Sun Apr 26, 2009 12:30 pm
Posts: 45931
Location: Belfast
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I feared my wife had Tourette's, so I took her to see a psychiatrist.
The good news? She's not got it.
The bad news? I am a [LIFTED] and she does want me to [LIFTED] off.
_________________Plain English advice on everything money, purchase and service related:
http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/
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| Thu Feb 13, 2014 10:41 pm |
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pcernie
Legend
Joined: Sun Apr 26, 2009 12:30 pm
Posts: 45931
Location: Belfast
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Did you hear about the CIA captive who was forced to sing?
It was an extraordinary rendition.
_________________Plain English advice on everything money, purchase and service related:
http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/
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| Mon Mar 03, 2014 11:07 pm |
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