There's bound to be pie week.

Yup, there's one every series. Normally at least a pork pie has to be made.

Sweet fcuking Christ, what is it with websites not recognising a password you've typed in a hundred times before? Why do I have to come back tomorrow?

Went to ditch Tesco because they've patently gotten worse in every way, except I might as well stick with the devil I know, because Sainsburys are even dearer for the same level of taking the customer for granted, and Asda over here never have any stock! It's bad when you're thinking, 'At least I get Tesco points FFS'

As you may know, us docs have to do appraisal bollocks every year so we can be revalidated every five years. I've slacked off and my appraisal needs to be submitted on Monday (a deadline I set!). Figured I'd have some dinner and then settle down to do some work.

Bloody website's down.

The two spastics who are legally my parents have decided that they really need to switch off the sockets in my room while I'm out, resulting not only in me having to go round the back of my TV every day, but also seeing the PS3 spin up in a seriously bad way

I'm actually gonna put a sign up in my own room, cos you know, RETARDS.

Wouldn't a conversation be a better way to start?

Not in this house. All that'll start is an argument with two people who make ISIS converts look sensible.

Get your own place.
Job done.

Mark

Everybody says that, but I don't drive and my job location could change any month now, amongst other issues. Long story short, I'd much rather have a mortgage than pay someone else's, but it wouldn't be prudent to make a move right now.

I'm sick of having to email sellers and sites over damaged products... Back and forth emails to start with complete with photo of broken item, ask the seller about cost of return, he says start a request through ebay for a return label. I do that, now ebay says contact the seller again to be sent a label! Once the dust settles, I'll have to package the thing up securely and go to the post office, before waiting feck knows how long for the replacement. Is it any wonder people just say 'it didn't turn up'?

how much rent do you pay them a month? I think your parents are better off in ward4 tbh

Sit down to read a comic for the first time in ages and that's when Team 'Tard decide to rearrange upstairs as loudly as possible. So I check my emails. That order that went through perfectly fine? Now cancelled because the item isn't manufactured any more. Really? Cos all the other similar orders have been fine

Patients lying just so they can be seen.

First patient of the day - partner walks in and claims her husband's having a heart attack in the car (in which case why wait for the surgery to open instead of calling 999?). Turns out to have a bit of vestibular neuronitis but absolutely no chest pain or any other cardiac symptoms. The wife slinked out of the room when I asked that I'd been told he was having a heart attack.

Next patient walks in with a child and claims they have an appointment at 1245. Our morning appointments run until 12 so we can do home visits after that. There was no record of an appointment on the system.

Third patient to try it on just walks in and demands to be seen. Back pain. Known to just try things on so he can be seen.

Grrr... I'm REALLY starting to hate this f***ing place.

Get told that there's something wrong with the Customer Order references in one of our larger tables.

The DB engine we use is geriatric and the SQL can't do either regexes or even IsNumeric. So I spend an hour and a half that I don't have writing a 200-line hell-of-brackets SQL query that explicitly checks each character.

The problem was nothing to do with customer references and Helpdesk knew this 5 mins after I started writing the code.

[LIFTED]!