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davrosG5
I haven't seen my friends in so long
Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 6:37 am
Posts: 6954
Location: Peebo
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I got my friend an elephant for her room.
She asked me what to do with it.
I said "Don't mention it".
_________________
When they put teeth in your mouth, they spoiled a perfectly good bum.
-Billy Connolly (to a heckler)
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| Fri Sep 23, 2016 9:41 am |
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l3v1ck
What's a life?
Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 10:21 am
Posts: 12700
Location: The Right Side of the Pennines (metaphorically & geographically)
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Why do the French eat snails?
They don't like fast food.
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| Mon Sep 26, 2016 7:46 pm |
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hifidelity2
I haven't seen my friends in so long
Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 1:03 pm
Posts: 5041
Location: London
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That sounds like a Tim Vine Joke
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| Tue Sep 27, 2016 7:54 am |
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Paul1965
I haven't seen my friends in so long
Joined: Thu Apr 23, 2009 8:29 pm
Posts: 5975
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_________________
"I hadn't known there were so many idiots in the world until I started using the Internet." - Stanislaw Lem
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| Wed Oct 05, 2016 5:48 pm |
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John_Vella
I haven't seen my friends in so long
Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 7:55 am
Posts: 7935
Location: Manchester.
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I used to work in a meditation centre, but I hated the place. I couldn't wait until 5.00pm so I could go hommmmmmmm.
_________________John Vella BSc (Hons), PGCE - Still the official forum prankster and crude remarker  Sorry  I'll behave now. Promise 
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| Fri Jan 06, 2017 1:15 pm |
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jonlumb
Spends far too much time on here
Joined: Thu Apr 23, 2009 6:44 pm
Posts: 4141
Location: Exeter
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From what I've seen, this is actually no longer the case. McDonalds etc is always rammed come lunch time.
_________________
"The woman is a riddle inside a mystery wrapped in an enigma I've had sex with."
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| Sat Jan 07, 2017 8:45 am |
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oceanicitl
Official forum cat lady
Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 8:04 am
Posts: 11039
Location: London
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From Popbitch
Old Donald Trump Jokes Home:
Q/ What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?
A/ No-one has ever paid to have a lentil on their face...
_________________Still the official cheeky one
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| Thu Jan 12, 2017 3:14 pm |
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John_Vella
I haven't seen my friends in so long
Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 7:55 am
Posts: 7935
Location: Manchester.
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Does anyone know how long you cook those boil in the bag fish you get from the funfair ?
_________________John Vella BSc (Hons), PGCE - Still the official forum prankster and crude remarker Sorry I'll behave now. Promise
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| Tue Apr 11, 2017 6:29 pm |
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paulzolo
What's a life?
Joined: Thu Apr 23, 2009 6:27 pm
Posts: 12251
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It was an unusually cold morning on 7th December 1941. Midshipman Davies shivered as he patrolled the decks of the USS Phoenix, moored off the coast of Ford Island. The dawn sun light up the sky in an array of cool hues, mingled with oranges and reds, making the chill even feel even more biting. A wind blew across the decks, causing flags to flutter, ropes to clang mournfully against masts.
Davies paused. "There’s a nip in the air," he said to himself as he continued his rounds.
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| Tue Apr 11, 2017 7:51 pm |
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Burn_IT
Has a life
Joined: Fri Dec 13, 2013 6:44 pm
Posts: 90
Location: Polesworth
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Subtler than most!!
_________________I cannot remember the last time I forgot something
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| Sat Apr 29, 2017 5:26 pm |
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paulzolo
What's a life?
Joined: Thu Apr 23, 2009 6:27 pm
Posts: 12251
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Joke that went over the heads of the kids in CodeClub last week, but well worth repeating here:
What kind of computers do pirates use? PCs of Eight Bits.
(earned me 12 points from Mr Biffo too....)
Someone else on Twitter actually augmented this by adding:
Sometimes 7 bits due to parroty errors.
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| Tue May 02, 2017 9:01 am |
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paulzolo
What's a life?
Joined: Thu Apr 23, 2009 6:27 pm
Posts: 12251
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Thanks! That was bouncing around in my head for a long time. I had to get the wording right, and I wanted to paint a picture rather than going straight for the pun.
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| Tue May 02, 2017 9:03 am |
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Burn_IT
Has a life
Joined: Fri Dec 13, 2013 6:44 pm
Posts: 90
Location: Polesworth
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I always went with:
What do you call a Japanese Airline pilot on a cold day??
_________________I cannot remember the last time I forgot something
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| Thu May 04, 2017 12:57 pm |
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l3v1ck
What's a life?
Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 10:21 am
Posts: 12700
Location: The Right Side of the Pennines (metaphorically & geographically)
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| Thu May 04, 2017 6:25 pm |
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pcernie
Legend
Joined: Sun Apr 26, 2009 12:30 pm
Posts: 45931
Location: Belfast
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[Testing Cat-Human Translator]
Scientist: Cat, what is your name?
Cat: I AM KANG THE DESTROYER
Owner: It's not working. His name is Socks.
_________________Plain English advice on everything money, purchase and service related:
http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/
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| Thu Aug 03, 2017 8:52 pm |
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