thank you for that just made me crack up laffing

you should be a model or something, you will probably be the permanant most stunning human on this forum

You've clearly never seen me then Bratty. Tut. I'm gorgeous.

Shame the mirror says different
Just kidding man, see I put a smiley

Right, you need to get yourself a couple of books. One is called 'The Mystery Method', and the other is called 'The Rules of the Game'. They will teach you two things: 1. that the girl that you think is hot isn't all that when you widen your scope. 2. they will teach you to have the confidence in yourself to be able to make women want you rather than vica versa.

In addition to that, they will make you a better more confident person in the whole life, whether that be work, friends, social situations or relationships.




You could do with some of the above too, Bratty.

End game is that you will want to get her to pay. Why? Because you're trying to get her to invest in you. Men too easily try to gain a woman's interest by investing in them too early. She'll see such a demonstration as a demonstration of lower value to herself.

If you think that she doesn't know that you like her then you're sorely mistaken; even if it's subconscious, she'll know. Split the meal if it helps, but you should be showing little to no interest in her. Yes, carry on polite conversation, but try not to demonstrate interest. See what response you get from looking at other women as they pass; look out of the corner of your eye.

At the end of the meal, tap the side of your cheek as if expecting a kiss. This is a way to get a woman to invest in you in a little way, and don't kiss her back. She may even demand it. She's trying to equalise the fact that she has kissed you. If she does demand it of you you have to be confident in a pithy one-liner. Something like 'ah ah ah, I don't kiss on a first date'. Then suggest that you might do lunch again some time, the undertone being that next time you might kiss her back. Don't say it.

If she doesn't kiss you, don't worry, shrug is off with something like a 'your loss' and a smile.

I could go on all night but need to get to bed. I'm still incredibly shy, and I'm 29, and have to meet women via the internet as I don't drink and so have never had experiences where I have had no approach anxiety. But I'm very confident in myself when it comes to meeting women that I'm already introduced to, such as through friends or via the medium of the internet. And that shines through to prospective dates.

Good luck with both you guys

WTF. well that post has put me right off this date thing you got to bear in mind this girl I need to ask out is massivly differant to most if not all other girls ive ever met and she really is weird which attracts me to her etc. I dont even know if your referring to normal girls only in this case, and assuming your foreign english then again you will have a differant mentality to the people here.



sounds absaloutly mad to me, theres no way I could do that, ive put not asking her out for long enough now and I cant make same mistake by keep putting it off like this fat girl I fancied for 6 years and she ended up with a bf (and a baby) O_O



LOL! again this is utterly bizzare behaviour and if I did that in reallife I woudnt half be a laughing stock and make a complete tit of myself. fact is we have already kissed each other (on the lips -.-) at a drunken halloween party so it would be very strange

argh godamnit, I wish I never read that strange post

Don't stress it Bratty. It sounds like you already know this girl quite well, so you probably already have a good idea of what she will and won't be into. Try to relax, and have fun. I always think if you don't feel relaxed on a date, then the girl you're with isn't the one for you. Just be yourself. You asked her out, and she said yes, so she wants to go out with you.

I havent asked her out yet thats the thing, were going out as friends but she suggested for lunch etc, I will prob be overrelaxd, im extremely confident in her presence and always talk to each other seamlessly together for hours on end. plus I make up a silly excuse as im cold all the time so I ask to steal her body heat so I can hug her all the time

Ask her out, you're likely in there and as for the woman investment guy what a load of old [LIFTED].

I'm all for anything which gives people confidence in themselves and helps them deal better with social situations, learning social skills is not something that is regularly aimed at kids or young adults and often they grow up with no idea of how to interact with adults, whether as 'elders' or as 'peers'. Just be wary of taking dating advice from what is effectively one person opinion and experience.




I'm sort of hoping that you're not serious about the above quote, I've never heard such a load of manipulative, game-playing bolleaux in all my life. What ever happened to two people, of equal value getting together because they like each other? Anyone trying to start out a relationship with another person by screwing with their feelings, playing mind games and trying to "force" them to conform to a set routine is full of sh!t and deserves to be single for a VERY long time.

I have been in relationships with small-minded petty people who think that there is some kind of manipulation involved in dating another person and it makes me so angry!! My first two relationships were with tw@ts who read books and believed they could elicit a response by playing stupid games and being @rseholes.

If you want a person (regardless of their gender) to like you and treat you with respect, you have to show the initiative. If you are interested, respectful, honest and open then you will get the same in return. If you act like a d!ck, pretend not to care then one of two things will happen; either she will think you really don't give a t0ss and spend the whole time miserable and insecure or you will end up with a partner with no self-respect or self-esteem who is happy to be mistreated becasue she thinks that's what you want. In either case ask yourself, is that what you really want in a partner?

Assassin8or, if that really is your dating strategy then I find it no surprise that you're single at the age of 29, while I am in the happiest, most fullfilling and secure relationship of my entire life.

Bratty & KRKux: My advice (in all seriousness) would be to just pluck up the courage, ask the question, be friendly, interested, don't take yourself too seriously, offer to split the cheque for your lunch (or whatever) and BE YOURSELF!! It took me a very long to realise that being honest and being myself was the most important thing in any form of relationship. I know I rag on you guys, but the majority of the advice you've been given (Assassin8ors aside) has been good and I honestly wish you both the very best of good relationship beginnings when you get there.

I'm English English to clear that up. As for the girl, well then if you've okay around her already then go for it. You might fall down at last minute resistance but, I'm sure you'll come back to us and tell us about it. I am talking about normal girls. I'm talking about all women in all cultures. Language and up bringing slightly change the nature of courtship, but at the end of the day, women are the way they are due to tens of thousands of years of social evolution.



You shouldn't care if people laugh at you. Be confident in the action and the reasons for the actions. If you really care how much people think about you, you're not very confident. Women love confidence, it's the quality of high ranking males in a social group which gives you survival value. Women exchange their replication value, so if they're pretty and healthy they are seen to have high replication value, for a man's survival value. If you're the leader of a social group, you have a high value because you have a lot of people who will help you out and help you survive. This is where the term alpha male comes from. It's a social status thing.

It works, end of chat. The reasons for it working are well know and are founded in evolutionary psychological examination of the female mind.

I know more girls who go for shy boys rather than cocky confident ones

I had a friend who used to swear by those books - "What are you? A door mat or a pedestal kinda person?" - all that stuff.
Was never happy with anyone he went out with. Yes, he pulled, no, it never lasted.
On the flip side, the people who have lasted longest, out of the people I know, haven't got together as a result of some chest-beating Alpha male thing.
In fact, most of the girls I know don't go out with people like that.