Same here. The trailer put me right off. Longest 3.14 minutes of my life.

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Comic Book Independents - they actually edited out all the interesting footage and stuck that in the extras, probably because that only amounted to around half an hour in what would otherwise have been two hours. You've got cult heroes sitting there and you're asking them what creativity is?

Killer Joe - It only lasts 99 minutes and I personally lasted 30. Rednecks could probably sue; this hasn't got a likeable character in it from what I saw, and everyone bar the lead character's a stereotype. Christ, even he crawled out of a 'Quentin Tarantino presents...' movie.

Dark comedy my arse, I should have known it'd be dire by how quickly you could 'top ticket' it with Blockbuster

A Dangerous Method - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=664eq7BXQcM

Not my usual sort of film at all, but as you'd expect from the trailer, a brilliant character study. There's not one thing I could criticise here; it doesn't even outstay it's welcome, which is very unusual now.

An old one but I caught it on TV over Xmas

Sex Drive Very laugh out loud funny. Look out for the super mechanic Amish guy.

And a classic car too!

We saw the Hobbit on Sunday.

Interesting, but also very disappointing. It was very long, not bad in itself, but they only managed to cover the first third of the story, but that first third was covered by about 20% of the running time...

They seemed much more concerned with creating a backstory for The Lord of the Rings, instead of actually telling the story of the Hobbit.

As I read the book of the Hobbit, I thought it was a little light on action for a modern film. I was right, the very short bits of battle in the book turn into very long battle scenes, the interesting character building was done by the wayside.

The change of Bilbo from normal hobbit into a hero was rushed and in the film, he took over many of the actions that Gandalf did in the book.

Whereas in The Lord of the Rings, they had to cut out large swathes of the book to fit it into the three films, they have packed so much extra stuff into the film, that has nothing to do with the book, that they had to make two films from it...

I'll be going to see it in the next few days, but I do know that it has already been decided to split the story into three films.

Eastern Promises - Thought I'd seen this... it's only an hour 40 but it feels longer since everything is laid on so thick (none of the characters have much depth, you can guess what they're gonna say almost). It's still watchable, but don't go expecting a Russian Goodfellas.

And since you've probably already seen it here's the Empire review that sets out almost the entire film

http://www.totalfilm.com/reviews/cinema ... n-promises

Seriously, not much thought went into it as a 'professional review', did it?

Ern, try your hand at movie reviews. 500 words on the movie of your choosing without falling into the traps you don't like in other reviews. I dare ya.

Have you seen Eastern Promises? The film's gonna have even less impact after that review.

Send me some reasonable money and I'll do you a decent 500 word review

It's not that difficult, IIRC Mark has probably done that (I recall an Avatar review at least), and bloggers do it all the time

I think, after your 25th or so review, it'll be trickier than you think.
Some bloggers also fall into the trap of not actually telling you very much about the movie.

I still do it, I just end up not posting them, then the film drops off the radar, then I delete the review.
I actually want to start posting them at some point this year, regardless of how old the film is or how many people actually read the reviews.

Mark

Total Film was capable for years until it tried to copy Empire, it used to be quirky and the free gifts were fantastic.

I can absolutely, categorically guarantee that there will be no free gifts with my reviews once they go live.

Mark

Pfft.