Bratty, my ex lived 150 miles away.

If we go buy home addresses I can double that (8-p)

ouch, I had one that was about 1500 miles away (switzerland) it hurt

Im guessing I "have" to ask this girl out maybe cos its a not normal trait? cos my friend who is also "not normal" is completly obsessed with wanting a gf, so bad that he gets heavily depressed about it and its taken over his life completly, im not at that stage (yet?) I doubt I'll ever turn as bad as him. hard to explain on text

i know what you mean. i used to fancy this girl, but i couldnt talk to her, about anything, no matter how hard i tried. No idea where she is now, and i dont think she ever knew how i truly felt, but given my relationship record at the time that was probably for the best. it got better mind, been in my current relationship for almost 6 months, new personal record!!!

i also have a friend whos pretty severely depressed, dont know if its about women though, i think hes just fed up with his life. he went for a psyche evaluation a while back (i heard he tried to commit suicide, but im not sure) and it didnt come back well, apparently hes pretty messed up, personally i think he just needs to stop dwelling on it and find something to do with his time, but obviously it isnt that simple

Bratty. I wanted a girlfriend too. I kept trying to find someone. I spent years doing so. I stopped looking and wanting one, and that's when I found one (not that I was anti-having one, I just didn't want one). I mean, I think she's rather nice, even if she is a touch french... (8-p)

"Bratty" if i can call you that... i don't contribute to this thread or "know" you as well as the others here seem to do... however.

You stated:



If so, then you have essentially three options:

a) Ask her out.

b) Mill about, act all depressed, do nothing etc.

c) Get over/Forget about her//Move on.

Now if you go with a), you can either be accepted in which case it's , or you can be rejected, in which case you move onto b) or c).

If from the above, you chose b), then fair enough since you tried your best and there was nothing you can do etc. etc.

However, you're not at that stage... you're pretty much at either b) or c) of your own volition. At which point you have to remember that this is your decision, your life and your situation. No matter how much you post on here about this, that or the other with regards to the girl, is going to get you anywhere closer to her.

I honestly can't believe that you somehow think that this girl is "the one" and that you're just sitting here moping about and complaining that she's only a 3 hour train ride away from you?

Not to mention you then said:



If so, then that's your choice and you should live with it/get over her and stop complaining about it :rolleyes:.

I may come across as being harsh, but i guess i'm just in a foul mood today so meh /shrug.

My gf (well, now fiance and mother of my baby) pulled me really. She walked into my room at uni as a total stranger and just started looking around. I was godsmacked. I didnt turf her out as I (and my friends) thought she was 'fit' - shallow I know but what can you do

Anyway, I didnt think I'd see her again (she didnt go to my uni and was visiting her friend) but her impromptu visits became more regular. I knew I liked her but I didnt think she'd like me. She was a bit out of my league to be honest. But one day her friend slipped into a conversation that she (Nicola not the friend) liked me and wanted my number. Result. The rest as they say is history.

The moral of this I guess is that love can find you when you a) least expect is and b) arent looking for it

The only two women I've ever loved both took me by surprise and both took the initiative. I didn't know what hit me. One of them was even demi-French

You never know......

However, on the friends thing. That's completely up to you. I'm not gonna sit here and bash you for thinking it's a waste of time. That's your choice and sometimes you just don't want to be friends, you want more. That's understandable - I've been there in the past. Especially when I was younger. Vdb's 3 options are pretty accurate. I'm a specialist at the second one, so you have my sympathy. That said, I'll repeat myself and say that at your age, there's honestly nothing to lose. If you wanna tell me different, I'm open to hearing it if you have a reasoned argument.

On placement my gf was over 300 miles away, we were still able to see each other once a fortnight, it's just a matter of being proactive about it and organising the time

grr, just still got in my head that if I DO ask her out she might not want to talk to me ever again, Is it normal for people to ask out people and if they say no they can become just friends? without any awkwardness etc?

It depends on the people.

For some of my friends, after asking out a person they won't stay friends even if they were "close".

However I also know other friends who have remained good friends even after getting rejected.

My personal take is that you just ask them out and just accept what happens. If you stay friends afterwards then fine, but if you drift apart then maybe you weren't such good friends in the first place?

It's a lot easier at the outset. Once you've gotten close to somebody it gets progressively harder.

Brilliant