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an open letter from Parliament
http://www.x404.co.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=1024		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  MrStevenRogers [ Thu Jun 04, 2009 12:56 am ]
Post subject:  an open letter from Parliament
Dear people of the United Kingdom

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of the economy, Parliament has decided to implement a scheme to put workers 50 years of age and older on early retirement.
This scheme will be known as RAPE.
(Retire Aged People Early)

Persons selected for RAPE can apply, if eligible, for the SHAFT scheme.
(Special Help After Forced Termination)

Persons who have been RAPED and then SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program.
(Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers)

A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice, after appeal, and SCREWED as many times as Parliament deems appropriate.

Only persons who have been RAPED can get AIDS
(Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse)
or HERPES.
(Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance)
Obviously, persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Parliament.

Persons who are ineligible for RAPE but are remaining on the job, will receive as much $HIT as possible.
(Special High Intensity Training)
Parliament has always prided itself on the amount of $HIT it can give out.
Should you feel that you do not receive enough $HIT, please bring this to the attention of your local MP.
All MP's have been fully trained to give you all the $HIT you can handle.

Sincerely
Parliament
Palace of Westminster
Author:  brataccas [ Thu Jun 04, 2009 1:13 am ]
Post subject:  Re: an open letter from Parliament
WTF? ive googled those schemes and it didnt come up with any valid results :?
Author:  finlay666 [ Thu Jun 04, 2009 9:18 am ]
Post subject:  Re: an open letter from Parliament
brataccas wrote:
WTF? ive googled those schemes and it didnt come up with any valid results :?


*facepalm*
Author:  big_D [ Thu Jun 04, 2009 9:18 am ]
Post subject:  Re: an open letter from Parliament
:lol:
Author:  Zippy [ Thu Jun 04, 2009 9:48 am ]
Post subject:  Re: an open letter from Parliament
:roll:

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Author:  oceanicitl [ Thu Jun 04, 2009 10:04 am ]
Post subject:  Re: an open letter from Parliament
:D :) ;) :o :shock: :lol: :roll: 8-) :geek:
Author:  saspro [ Thu Jun 04, 2009 10:34 am ]
Post subject:  Re: an open letter from Parliament
After forwarding that to a couple of people at work we now need 3 new laptops as they have coffee in them
Author:  John_Vella [ Thu Jun 04, 2009 10:37 am ]
Post subject:  Re: an open letter from Parliament
finlay666 wrote:
brataccas wrote:
WTF? ive googled those schemes and it didnt come up with any valid results :?


*facepalm*


He's got to be winding us up... not really subtle enough for my liking, but you've got to give him marks out of ten for trying

;) :P :lol: :roll: :etc:
Author:  saspro [ Thu Jun 04, 2009 10:39 am ]
Post subject:  Re: an open letter from Parliament
For the benefit of Bratty, heres a link to the schemes clicky
Author:  MrStevenRogers [ Thu Jun 04, 2009 10:48 am ]
Post subject:  Re: an open letter from Parliament
saspro wrote:
For the benefit of Bratty, heres a link to the schemes clicky


now that did make me chuckle … :lol: …
Author:  big_D [ Thu Jun 04, 2009 11:30 am ]
Post subject:  Re: an open letter from Parliament
:lol: Classic, the first time I've actually approved of a tiny url :D
Author:  saspro [ Thu Jun 04, 2009 11:43 am ]
Post subject:  Re: an open letter from Parliament
big_D wrote:
:lol: Classic, the first time I've actually approved of a tiny url :D


Thanks to JV for the heads up
Author:  John_Vella [ Thu Jun 04, 2009 11:59 am ]
Post subject:  Re: an open letter from Parliament
saspro wrote:
big_D wrote:
:lol: Classic, the first time I've actually approved of a tiny url :D


Thanks to JV for the heads up


It's nice to know that I'm good for something, even if it is only advising others how to be a bit sillier ;)
Author:  saspro [ Thu Jun 04, 2009 2:43 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: an open letter from Parliament
Nice to see the art of sarcasm isn't lost on you bratty ;)
Author:  Tsar [ Thu Jun 04, 2009 2:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: an open letter from Parliament
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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