Alright, without going in to too much detail, I just need to vent.

Okay, so the observant among you will probably have picked up on the fact that myself and Geekette haven't been exactly seeing eye-to-eye for the past year or so. Well, last Wednesday we decided enough was enough and we are actually going to divorce.
2010 has been spent pretty much trying to mend what we now see as un-mendable, so that's that.
I've been living this year away from home whilst at the same time trying to mend things between us, which hasn't been easy because I've still been having to pay bills/mortgage at the house whilst paying rent and buying food at the place I've actually been living in. The physical distance hasn't helped either, but we just couldn't live with each-other the way things were. Now we can't live with the way things are either so it's time to move on.
Also last week Wednesday Geekette told me that she's going to file for bankruptcy. Apparently, while I've been trying to make ends meet living and paying for two places, she's been racking up quite a phenomenal amount of debt (quite how this happened I don't yet know), so she's declaring bankruptcy, which will inevitably mean selling the house, which will also inevitably mean we'll not get for it what the mortgage is, and as she's absolving herself of all debt then the people wanting to make up the shortfall from the sale of the house is going to look to me to make it up - the house being in both our names.
I've yet to speak to a solicitor about the intricacies of one half of a married couple going bankrupt and how it then impacts the other half of that relationship (I was due to speak to someone last Friday morning, but they never called me) but it can't be in any way shape or form a good thing for me.
All that neatly brings me to the work news … last Friday I was told that I'm being made redundant on the 31st of December.
I was later told that I'm actually needed until the end of January and that if I accept the redundancy package (which admittedly is not too shabby) there's an employment agency that's willing to take me on for the month. I'll just be getting my standard monthly pay but it does mean I'll not need to touch the redundancy package for a whole month, which is something, right?

So … no wife, no house, no job.
I know some people are going to see this as a perfect opportunity to begin again right from start, but right now I'm not at that position where I can see that point of view - even though I know I'm going to be spending January looking for a new job to start as soon as possible.
The bankruptcy of Geekette isn't going to happen overnight, so I'm still going to have to pay the mortgage on that house, which is rapidly going to eat through the redundancy package, so a new job is priority number one.
Even if it means I'm just covering my outgoings then that'd be something.

As you can probably appreciate, I've gone through several possibilities in my head about what could happen, and discounting the very best and the very worst scenarios, then everything *should* be okay.
I just have to try and not let things get on top of me and try to stay positive. (<-- See what I did there, I ended on a positive!)

I don't really expect anyone to post any responses here. I'm not looking for sympathy - or slagging off - but sometimes it's just good to get it out, right? (<- Rhetorical)

Mark

Ok, now I understand your response to my post.

I guess a few of us had picked up some vibes that things weren't exactly rosy for you at the moment, but on hearing your news I don't think anyone realised that it was that devastating.

Make sure you get some good legal advice. Unfortunately, good legal advice costs decent amounts of money, but a good place to start might be the Citizen's Advice Bureau. That fact that you weren't living at that address means that could be considered special circumstances - I mean, how could you be aware of these debts building up if you never saw the post? Surely, your lawyer could argue the case that you shouldn't be liable for debts that your other half has built up, assuming she didn't make them in your name by forging your signature? Anyway, I'm no expert on legal issues, so I'll leave that to the experts.

Mark, sorry that 2010 has come to such a sad conclusion for you, I hope that 2011 gets off to a promising start and you find that job as soon as possible.

+1

Hope things get better quickly.

Sorry to hear the news Mark. I hope the bankruptcy/mortgage thing doesn't hang around too long, after that the only way is up.

Is there any way you could buy her half of the equity in the house.
Ie. A 150k house with a 100k mortgage means 50k equity. Half of that would be yours, so you'd only need to borrow 25k more to buy her out. That would save the costs of selling the house and the costs of finding a new place.

I know how you feel though. My wife and I have come close to splitting this year. I'd have walked if I thought I could look after our son with my job. (she made it clear I would have him).

[LIFTED] Mark, that's a bummer. Good to see you're aiming to stay positive though.

There's nothing I can say that other haven't already said, save perhaps to remind you there's always a dispassionate ear down here in Kent if you need to vent your spleen or get a little perspective from distance.

*looks for suitable emoticon and fails*

=o)

It feels like it takes the piss to say "yeah but look on the bright side", there isn't much bright side right now. But there will be in the future dude I know it, here's to pulling through and coming out the other side stronger.!

+1

*joins in a chorus of "Always look on the bright side of life"*

That all sounds like an egregious pain in the arse mate. Sorry to hear it
But, it will be over eventually.

+2

Can’t really add much more to what has already been said.

+3 sorry man.

That really is a tale of woe.

I know you're not looking for sympathy, but you have mine.

I sincerely hope things get better for you, fast.

You know you can holler towards Bath/Rugby/Lahndon/Wherever if you want someone to take the piddle out of your toy camera in an attempt to cheer you up (8-p) And it'll happen unprompted anyway. I *am* the Walrus.