I'm moving closer and closer to committing Facebook suicide. Although I like to use the medium to share photos with friends and family of the baby for example I simply cannot contain my growing rage at the posts facing me each time I logon.

Of course you could argue it's my fault for adding them - or more likely saying 'yes' to a request from them - but I fear it's too late now to simply spring clean my 'friends' list and an altogether more permanent solution is required.

My resultant Facebook rage can be explained through some of the following examples:-

1. Bad spelling and grammar

Now I'm sure I make plenty of mistakes too when tapping out messages on my keyboard but the errors I refer to are of a completely different nature. As a lot of my 'friends' are from my hometown of Doncaster they insist an writing as they speak which given the level of attained education combined with the local dialect (am I generalising? I don’t care, it's true) is appalling.

Let's list some examples:

"Carnt" (yes... an extra 'r' is seemingly added thus making the typing of the word LONGER!)

"fort u was cumin up 2 day"

"guna go c mi little baby nephew"

"Wt did ya cum myn 4 lve" (WHAT THE [LIFTED] IS THIS?)

Profuse use of "ya" replacing "you're/your/you" as well as "ov" replacing, er, I'm not sure actually.

And that's before the your/you're/their/there/they're. It’s enough to give a spell checker a heart attack.

"As ad enuf" You know what, so have I!

2. Moaning

There are seemingly people existing on Facebook purely to moan about what is wrong with them or how bad they feel. Every. Single. Day. Just stop it, really. We all like a moan every now and again but if there really is that much wrong with you/your life you need to a) re-evaluate and b) stop posting your inane moaning on Facebook. No one cares.

3. Attention Seeking

This is a favourite of mine. Why do people insist on posting something which is clearly so open ended as to require a response due to the lack of elaboration. Only today someone posted "Not in the mood". Really? Not in the mood for what? And why? This is surely designed purely to illicit a response for the poster to then put on the responder all of their woes. Or if on the other hand the poster wished the origins of the mood to remain a secret THEN WHY [LIFTED] POST IT? Similarly one posted the other day simply read "is SOOOOOO ANGRY!!!!!" and nothing more but with 34 further comments. Thirty-Four? All of which I have not read.

4. Personal Issues

I guess it's a measure of the people I am 'friends' with but my Facebook news feed is slowly starting to read like an episode of the Jeremy Kyle show. Not only do I seem to be friends with people who have had children (at a young age) only for the Dads to abandon the maternal home but the Mothers then insist on writing every failing of said Dad on Facebook. Please stop. I'm not interested and I doubt many other people are. Also publically slaying this person on Facebook does not make you the 'right one' in the given situation as I can only presume that is the intention. Your willingness to be so open on the internet is not a moral victory in your favour.

4. WHAT??

Finally the most recent cause of prompting me to evaluate my Facebook 'friends' was the posting regarding a recent arrival in two people’s lives. How nice that after having three baby girls they finally get a little boy.

And call it "Trafford".

That's right; the dad is a Manchester United fan.

For the love of God.........



(P.S. Should I have posted this as an article? It started as a minor rant but ended up quite lengthy! )

I think it should be an article!

I'm still contemplating FB suicide. The fact I haven't yet is a measure of how well I think I've managed my presence and friends.

To be honest, though, I find my interest in being there lessens every day. I wonder if I'll manage to see out the year before closing the account down...



PS. "ov" = "have"; "I could have" becomes "I cud ov"; there's a couple of members here who use "would of"/"could of" instead of the correct word. I'm not sure whether it's laziness or ignorance. I'm too lazy and ignorant to pull anyone up on it now.

You don't have to de-friend yourself from them, just block them.
That way, as far as they are concerned, you and they are still mates, but you're blissfully unaware of how much moaning and bitching and crap spelling and grammar they are getting up to.

Mark

Amazing that Heather can speak yoof. I wouldn't have a clue with a lot of it.

Veato, that was an extremely eloquent rant and I commend you. Most days I dream about a world without Facebook, but it seems I'm in the minority. Also, with my pending departure coming up, I'm not sure I have a cheaper/easier (perhaps lazier) way to communicate with those few people who might actually give a crap that I've left. So it seems I'm stuck with the blasted thing. Damn you, western civilization. I can only hope that I will be so ridiculously busy that I won't have time to get annoyed about it.

There's always Twitter. Having to think in limited characters is refreshing. It's quick and ephemeral, and currently not selling your information to MegaCorps.

I prefer Twitter over Facebook. If I'd thought I'd ever even say that two years ago, I'd have laughed like a drain. How times change.

Yeah, I'm still there.

One way of tracking me and my thoughts is too many already.

The key is Friend Management. Not saying Yes to every friend request seems to be the right way to go. I also have a couple of people I’ve blocked - just helps manage the crap they spout.

I remember a HK pre-iPod, pre-FaceBook and pre-Twitter. Oh how times really have changed! (8-p)

These U-turns will come back to haunt her if she ever becomes PM.

I know. My attitude changes when I find a real purpose behind something. I'm on the cusp with Facebook, to be honest.

And Paul I refer you to the Gandhi quote in my sig.

Interesting point...

Paul posted something on Twitter just now, which was cross-posted to Facebook. The conversation is happening on Twitter.

Twitter's more immediate than Fb.

Mark

It also doesn't necessarily require a browser. 95% of my Twitter life occurs in a third party app. 100% of my FB requires a browser.

Probably more than 99% of my Twitter activity is in browser.
*shrug*

Mark

An exception to prove the rule. I was merely pointing out an advantage to Twitter.