How did you acquire your friends? What do they mean to you/offer you? How do your relationships with them improve/add to your life?

I find myself suffering from a chronic lack of a social life and the more I think about it, I can't remember the last time I actually had a group of friends to hang out with of an evening or weekend. The best times in recent years have been overseas, but you don't get to form lasting relationships over there. The people I get on with best and would love to just hang out with more in the UK are all up the line to a greater or lesser extent.

<Bratty> Am I doing something wrong? Is this normal? I want to know how other people geton in this regard. </Bratty>

Is it coz I is Cornish/single/want to travel/don't have my own home to invite people to?

My first good friend in uni I met because he thought I was a cool surfer dude and thought he'd make conversation. I thought he was one of the cool kids so reciprocated. Turns out we were both sad buggers :p still good mates today

My core friends that I hang out with today are quite a mix, though have all done/are doing a masers in fine art.
I met them all through Faye.
One was in my year and has just started a Ph.D, two are the year below and practically run a local cafe some evenings. The final friend is my neighbour who must be in her mid-60s and is doing a degree to keep active.

We are all level intellectually, we find each other interesting in different ways and can relax around each other.

I'll admit I've struggled finding friends in the work environment.

This is like asking alcoholics for advice on self-control.

I had a big response planned on introversion and geekdom - but I think that puts my point across. I tend to be awkward with people until they're my close friends, and even then, I'm susceptible to going off people, hell is other people and all that.


Small doses.

I've a small circle of real friends. One of my longest serving friend and I met one night in the uni bar. Another I literally picked up off the floor of a bar in Scotland one night - we've been mates ever since.
As time goes on and I get older, I tend to find that I have friends who pass through on their way to other things - most people my age are settled down with kids and a partner.
Which is fine, actually, I like having new faces to hang around with, and it's always nice when old ones pass through again.
The people I call my closest friends I rarely see, to be honest, as they live in other parts of the country but whenever we do get to get together, it's like putting on an old pair of trainers - instantly comfortable and familiar.

After the 10+ years I spent in the film industry, I have literally nobody I met through work that I'd consider a close friend. Acquaintances, perhaps, and they number less than the fingers of one hand.
Outside of that, through other work, I've built up a small circle of people I like to socialise with even though we've all moved onto other jobs.

Currently the work place thing is fine, but again, they're usually married and have kids.

All in all, I wouldn't really change it. My evenings are usually spent in front of Lightroom at the moment.

I'm still friends with a couple of people I went to nursery/primary school and a couple from secondary school.
A couple more I picked up in my relatively few jobs. Sadly, meeting up usually involves having to travel somewhere to meet up.

Local friends tend to live just far enough away that going out to the pub or into town becomes a bit of a logistical pain in the backside as someone has to drive or incur the cost of a taxi.
Still, I'm glad I haven't turned into a total hermit.

I have a few good close friends with whom I have been friends for many years. Then there are a range of acquaintances whom I met over the years in various ways.


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I guess work and uni help to meet people to hang out with but I think about this too much I start doubting that I have any friends that are not just acquaintances.

All the people I call friends live in other countries.
I have no friends over here and the people I do know would be just mates at best.
I don't feel the need to have 'a social life' as I'm perfectly comfortable with my own company.
None of the people I work with I would even consider socialising with outside of the 'work do'.

Mark

So am I alone in not wanting to be alone?

I like my own space sometimes, but I'd love to just be able to pick up the phone to a friend, see what they're up to, and maybe pop round, or agree to meet up.

When I see friends in other parts of the UK, or overseas, it's great and I love that. But I would like a more local thing that's relevant to my daily life. Is that what people have wives for? (serious question)

Oh definitely, just got off the phone now with a mate and feel better and more positive just having a day trip organised. Friends are great and should be a priority, I think rather than just travelling on your own, try volunteering on a farm or couch surfing. Your outlook on life will change totally if you've been in your own head in a small town for a long time. But it's definitely a case for me of needing to recharge after too much socialising, but similarly too long spent on your own and you can become depressed (I'm not fun enough to keep myself entertained on my own, and there's no one around to tell you to get a life or sort your job out etc (girlfriends are really good at this aspect of criticising the things you do :p )
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Of course not, but that's not what you asked in the OP.

Mark

I've always been the kind of person to prefer quality rather than quantity in terms of friends.

All of my friends who I grew up with/went to secondary school etc have settled down with families/work etc so I rarely ever meet up with them these days.

My best friends are the ones from uni with whom I hung out. I can catch up every six or twelve months and it's like we never went away.

I have friends from my training who I sometimes hang out with.

I also have friends who I've met occasionally (or not at all) in real life and speak to regularly on COD.

Keeping your self amused is hard work. It takes a lot of practice.

The biggest problem is to fill your time so you do not feel alone. Though physical presence is not essential as long as you can contact people when necessary.

It's funny, I bumped into a guy I've been friends with almost my whole life today at the traffic lights, though we hadn't spoken in about a year (he's married with kids). After the usual 'How's things?' we had absolutely nothing to say to each other and, well, thank fcuk we were going in different directions... Just got deja vu typing that

I have one good friend I've known since nursery and our mate from secondary school, other than that, everybody went their separate ways, really. All we ever did was kill time and I'm happier with my own company most of the time, so...

I get on well with most people in work, but I don't want to socialise with 'em.

My closest friend I've known since primary school, but I don't see him much due to the distance.

I don't have many friends who live locally really, so I don't tend to see anyone. I don't make friends very easily at the best of times and moving to the city has only compounded that problem. It does get lonely sometimes, especially since my family are 200 miles away, but I try to make the best of it.

I do most of my socialising in the office at work, I am on good terms with quite a few people in the office but this hasn't really extended into anything outside of work. I see one person from work on a regular basis outside of work and she's probably the only real "friend" I've made there. Everyone else I seem to lose contact with once they get moved into another office or leave the workplace altogether.

In all honesty I would love to have more friends, especially in the city, but I'm terrible at speaking to new people.