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Work friends?
http://www.x404.co.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=23978		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  pcernie [ Thu Jul 02, 2015 8:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Work friends?
We had the usual 'OMG, why aren't you coming to the dinner/drinks doo-dah?' in the office today.

There's no polite way to say I like to keep my work and private life separate, is there? Apart from that, I really don't wanna spend a small fortune on an event I could really care less about.

I personally hate these attempts at 'team-building' when everybody gets along on a personal basis anyway. It's usually little more than people feeling pressurized to go because like two people fancy it.

I have enough friends and really don't want to have to say it :lol:

Anyway, have any of your colleagues become good friends of yours, or are they still just acquaintances more than anything else?
Author:  ProfessorF [ Thu Jul 02, 2015 9:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Work friends?
Actually, my network of friends in this town all came about through work.
We all have moved onto other things, moved away and come back etc. but we all still stay in touch - I'm currently sharing a flat with one.
Currently, we generally keep work and social life separate at my present job. For the most part. Some people hang around outside work hours.
Author:  okenobi [ Thu Jul 02, 2015 10:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Work friends?
Every job is different.

I've accidentally cracked on to the 18yr old sister of my current bosses girlfriend, so that's making things interesting right now.

In general though, overseas life meant work friends were my only friends until I learnt Spanish and Italian. Then I had the luxury of both and choice.

I don't think it's bad to not want to hang out with work "friends". But I do think that when you're part of a team, it's important to make concessions to that team sometimes. Otherwise you're "that boring [LIFTED] who never comes out" and that then has a knock on effect on productivity. People also become reluctant to help you with things.

When you're the boss, you have a responsibility to take charge and set the party line. When you're a team mate, you need to respect everybody else and what they think about how workplace relationships should be conducted. Otherwise, be a freelancer/business owner/solo worker and just have a personal life.

Most "jobs" mean teams and teams mean compromise.
Author:  pcernie [ Thu Jul 02, 2015 10:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Work friends?
okenobi wrote:
I don't think it's bad to not want to hang out with work "friends". But I do think that when you're part of a team, it's important to make concessions to that team sometimes. Otherwise you're "that boring [LIFTED] who never comes out" and that then has a knock on effect on productivity. People also become reluctant to help you with things.


Christ, I don't want to sit down to a meal with people like that in the first place.

IME these outings never change the dynamic one bit afterwards - they just make people feel obliged to attend something in case they get talked about.
Author:  l3v1ck [ Thu Jul 02, 2015 11:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Work friends?
Though I have colleagues that I call friends, they're not daily friends. Mainly as they live all over the country and aboard. It's not as if we live within a daily commute in my line of work.
Author:  veato [ Fri Jul 03, 2015 7:38 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Work friends?
In previous jobs I'd have gone out of my way to avoid some colleagues out of work. In my current job there's some pretty decent people who I share a lot of interests with. I still don't go out on every single occasion like some but I've got no problem socialising with the current crop.

As an example of my relationship with people here; I sent my boss a snippet of a graph to show web analytics in SharePoint was working again:

Image

He sent back this:

Image
Author:  cloaked_wolf [ Fri Jul 03, 2015 7:53 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Work friends?
I lolled :lol:

I think I prefer to keep things separate too. Hate having to go to Xmas parties but if I don't, I'm the only one who's not there.
Author:  Zippy [ Fri Jul 03, 2015 8:04 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Work friends?
I historically make "friends" at work, people I know reasonably well, go out and socialise with on occasion and can share a laugh with. Also there are people I work with who I would never socialise with, they just aren't my type of person and therefore I use my commute and my fur-babies as an excuse not to go out with them.

Also historically I keep in touch with very few of these people when I leave that place. The last place I worked (9 years ago) I am still in touch with 1 person and that only via facebook. I don't have any 'friends' outside of work either, apart from the best friend I'm married to and I don't feel the loss at all. I'm friendly with lots of people and I wouldn't hesitate to join most of them at the bar in the transit lounge of Hong Kong airport at 3am (http://www.curiouscatherine.info/2011/08/25/dunbars-number-networks-are-not-all-rational-you-know/) but they're my definition of 'Friend'
Author:  oceanicitl [ Fri Jul 03, 2015 8:35 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Work friends?
I have always made friends at work and a drink after work on a Friday is a great way to bond. One of my best friends now is a guy I worked with nearly 20 years ago.

I have kept in touch with lots of my work friends & colleagues from over the years and still meet up with them when I can. I might not see them for years but when we meet it's like no time has passed.

Also the mac support world in London is quite incestuous so people I worked with have ended up working with other people I know then are surprised to see we are mutal friends on Facebook.

I am also in touch with a mac supplier I have been using on and off since 1996 (and even worked for them at one point) and they have a summer party once a year which willbe next week. I went last year with current colleagues but as soon as I got to the party I was off chatting to other people who I used to work with and had an amazing night catching up with old faces. Looking forward to the same again this year :)
Author:  davrosG5 [ Fri Jul 03, 2015 9:28 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Work friends?
I'm friends with a number of people I've worked with over the years, in fact last weekends trip to Manchester was to meet two such people.

I get on well with a number of people at work and will usually go on works do's provided it's not crazy expensive and there are people going who I get on with.
Still have lunch with a fair few of the people from the department I used to work in as the my current department don't generally go to the staff restaurant at lunch times - I think it's good to get away from the office so you can't be pestered when your not being paid.
Author:  hifidelity2 [ Fri Jul 03, 2015 11:40 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Work friends?
I consider going out with work from time to time part of the job

Having said that as I commute into London my work Friends are not my "home" friends - if nothing else because we are all so far apart
I have in the past made good work friends and have kept in contact - one good one is now in Canada and I am off to see and stay with them in a couple of months time
Author:  rustybucket [ Fri Jul 03, 2015 11:43 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Work friends?
I miss my wife when I'm at work.

I like the people here but my liking for them is as nothing compared to my desire to be at home.

Therefore wife wins
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