I wrote to my quack to see about getting a sick note that I can pass onto the Department of Work & Pensions. Initially, I tried making an appointment, as I'd expect any doctor worth their salt to want to see a patient before issuing a note.
'Not necessary,' the receptionist cheerfully said, 'for sick notes you just drop us in a letter. We try not to waste time with making appointments just for notes.'

So that's what I did at the start of the week.
I've just had a phone call saying that they'd like me to book an appointment to see the doctor after all, except my usual doc is off on leave next week.
So I've had to make an appointment with another surgery, and another doctor who doesn't know my history.
All of this is holding up paper work I should have sent off by now so that I can have some sort of income again.
Gits.

This isn't the fault of the doctor. This is the fault of the Govt and their endless fiddling, ruining the NHS and forcing practices to jump through hoops to get their money. In the good ol' days (before I was born), GPs treated those who needed to be treated and monitored those who didn't. Now they have to treat everyone or they won't get paid.

Example: Mrs Smith is a 92 year old who has had borderline high blood pressure. Normally, most doctors wouldn't bother treating it. But now, she has to have her blood pressure checked regularly, have regular blood tests, be put on blood pressure medication, suffer the side-effects, be put on different medication and have a whole host of other things. Otherwise poor little GP won't get paid.

GP gets a few points for doing what he did to Mrs Smith.

Now expand this to every patient and suddenly the workload rises massively just so a GP can get some money. GP will only get 50% of their pay and the other 50% is given on a sliding scale depending on the number of points earned. The more points earned, the more money s/he will get.

This means GPs have to waste time treating patients they wouldn't normally treat and therefore have less time for everything else. So more patients need to be seen by their GP, meaning other patients don't get an early appointment.

Continuing the above scenario, Mrs Smith's blood pressure, although remains well, occasionally drops. There's no one around when her blood pressure drops so no one notices when she feels dizzy. Mrs Smith doesn't want to be a nuisance and takes a paracetamol for a headache. She later has another dizzy episode, rendering her unconscious. She falls, breaks her hip and hits her head. Mrs Smith's niece pops round for tea, spots her aunt on the floor and calls the ambulance who do their duty and soon she ends up in A&E. Mrs Smith undergoes a CT scan revealing a bleed, leading to stroke. She is too old and fragile for neurosurgery so nothing is done. Her hip is repaired but is not perfect so she is still unstable on her feet. After weeks of physiotherapy, Mrs Smith can now walk around with a zimmer frame but cannot use her arms to make food, so she needs meals on wheels. She also needs carers several times a day to help her.

All this because the Govt. wanted the GP to give Mrs Smith a tablet for something the GP wouldn't normally give.

True. I'm just annoyed that I checked with the receptionist as it had been some time since I had an appointment, and I didn't believe they'd issue a note without seeing me. Waste of everyone's time.

Lie to get an appointment. I'm never particularly keen on telling a receptionist - in front of a room full of other patients - why I need to see a doctor so I normally just say "it's private".

Joke.

A man walks into a doctor's surgery and goes up to the reception.

Receptionist: How can I help you?
Man: There's something wrong with my cock.
Receptionist: You can't say that in here, have some decorum. If your problem is intimate, say something like "There's something wrong with my ear." so shall we try that again?
Man: There's something wrong with my ear.
Receptionist: That's better. What seems to be the problem?
Man: I can't p!55 out of it.

I was told by an occupational nurse to say I've been sent by a a nurse to get an appointment and if that doesn't work just ask the receptionist if they will take legal responsibilty if anything goes wrong. It's never failed