THE song from the Boots adverts has created an unstoppable strain of demented, screeching harpie, experts claimed last night.
Boots customer Helen Archer transforms herself into a sassy, confident pain in the [LIFTED] arse
New figures show an explosion in female mayhem since the Here Come The Girls advert first aired, with researchers warning the song is transforming normal, annoying women into frenzied, hyper-confident super-cows.
Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies said: "The song contains resonant frequencies which stimulate the female hypothalamus, causing the neurotransmitters to become overloaded with dopamine. Or to put this another way, it makes them go [LIFTED] mental.
"They become violent and abusive and then cluster in small groups laughing riotously at some secret thing, although from the way they keep looking over it's obviously something to do with you."
He added: "The song effectively short-circuits the tiny, rational part of the female mind, and the results can be at once terrifying, cataclysmic and strangely beautiful.
"It's basically a call to arms and under no circumstances should it be combined with poor quality sparkling wine, which is a bit like feeding gremlins after midnight."
The song has been implicated in the death of a male stripper at a hen night in Hartlepool, who was torn apart with such ferocity that only a severed thumb and a bloodstained fireman's helmet were recovered.
Architect Nikki Hollis said: "I am a professional in charge of a large team responsible for delivering multi-million pound projects to the highest specifications, but when that song comes on I can't stop myself screaming like a randy fox, hitting a random stranger in the face with a shoe and then bursting into tears and pissing in a gutter."
She added: "The best bit is where it goes 'Na na na-na-na-na-na na na-na-na na na'. Just saying it makes me feel all giddy and dangerous."
http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/soci ... 004162647/
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