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John_Vella
I haven't seen my friends in so long
Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 7:55 am
Posts: 7935
Location: Manchester.
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What are the best things about Switzerland? Well, the flag's a big plus.
Sent from my big ass Sony Xperia Z Ultra tabphonelet, using Tapatalk 4.
_________________John Vella BSc (Hons), PGCE - Still the official forum prankster and crude remarker  Sorry  I'll behave now. Promise 
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| Wed Jul 23, 2014 5:24 pm |
 
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pcernie
Legend
Joined: Sun Apr 26, 2009 12:30 pm
Posts: 45931
Location: Belfast
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A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says: "Five beers, please."
_________________Plain English advice on everything money, purchase and service related:
http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/
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| Fri Jul 25, 2014 5:22 pm |
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pcernie
Legend
Joined: Sun Apr 26, 2009 12:30 pm
Posts: 45931
Location: Belfast
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Q: What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?
A: I wouldn't pay £100 to have a lentil on my face.
_________________Plain English advice on everything money, purchase and service related:
http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/
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| Sun Aug 17, 2014 5:34 pm |
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l3v1ck
What's a life?
Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 10:21 am
Posts: 12700
Location: The Right Side of the Pennines (metaphorically & geographically)
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Do you know why Scotland oil is running out?
They're frying to much stuff in their chip shops.
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| Tue Aug 19, 2014 5:06 pm |
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jonbwfc
What's a life?
Joined: Thu Apr 23, 2009 7:26 pm
Posts: 17040
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Winning one liner from this years Edinburgh fringe -
"I decide to put my Hoover on eBay. After all, it was gathering dust"
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| Tue Aug 19, 2014 8:23 pm |
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l3v1ck
What's a life?
Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 10:21 am
Posts: 12700
Location: The Right Side of the Pennines (metaphorically & geographically)
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I bumped into a suicidal dog on the way to work today.
I said to him, "Don't put yourself down, mate."
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| Thu Aug 21, 2014 4:16 pm |
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TheFrenchun
Officially Mrs saspro
Joined: Wed Jan 06, 2010 7:55 pm
Posts: 4955
Location: on the naughty step
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Best pulling line " do you like cheese? / yeah/ I'm an easy single
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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| Sun Aug 31, 2014 4:03 pm |
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ProfessorF
What's a life?
Joined: Thu Apr 23, 2009 7:56 pm
Posts: 12030
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Q: how do you think the unthinkable ?
A: with an itheberg.
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| Wed Sep 03, 2014 7:10 pm |
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l3v1ck
What's a life?
Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 10:21 am
Posts: 12700
Location: The Right Side of the Pennines (metaphorically & geographically)
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
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| Wed Oct 15, 2014 5:34 am |
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pcernie
Legend
Joined: Sun Apr 26, 2009 12:30 pm
Posts: 45931
Location: Belfast
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How did the hipster burn his mouth?
He'd been eating pizza before it was cool.
_________________Plain English advice on everything money, purchase and service related:
http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/
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| Sun Oct 19, 2014 11:30 am |
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oceanicitl
Official forum cat lady
Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 8:04 am
Posts: 11039
Location: London
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_________________Still the official cheeky one
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| Mon Oct 20, 2014 8:28 am |
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l3v1ck
What's a life?
Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 10:21 am
Posts: 12700
Location: The Right Side of the Pennines (metaphorically & geographically)
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Mahatma Gandhi, as you all know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet he suffered with bad breath.... This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis!
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| Mon Oct 27, 2014 6:20 am |
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Paul1965
I haven't seen my friends in so long
Joined: Thu Apr 23, 2009 8:29 pm
Posts: 5975
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_________________
"I hadn't known there were so many idiots in the world until I started using the Internet." - Stanislaw Lem
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| Mon Oct 27, 2014 9:32 am |
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l3v1ck
What's a life?
Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 10:21 am
Posts: 12700
Location: The Right Side of the Pennines (metaphorically & geographically)
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I was arguing with my girlfriend in Nando's the other day when my best mate came over, grabbed the garlic bread and coleslaw from our table and ran off!
I just wish he would stop taking sides.
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| Tue Nov 04, 2014 8:46 pm |
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pcernie
Legend
Joined: Sun Apr 26, 2009 12:30 pm
Posts: 45931
Location: Belfast
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How many Vietnam veterans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
YOU WEREN'T THERE, MAN!
_________________Plain English advice on everything money, purchase and service related:
http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/
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| Tue Nov 04, 2014 9:09 pm |
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