I agree. The world would be such a nicer place to live in if we all walked out of our front doors in the morning, saw our neighbours, screamed "WHAT THE [LIFTED] ARE YOU LOOKING AT?!" and then threw bricks at their heads.

</sarcasm>

Well the course was clearly booked for the Weds, not the Thurs! (8-p)

Yeah, jeez, I HATE politeness. And from your neighbours? goddamn [LIFTED] neighbours. [LIFTED] them, with their pleasantries and politeness.


(It's at this point that I'm mentally preparing for the headlines involving a polite neighbour, bratty, a blank firing pistol, a gas mask, and an armed police response unit.)

... and a small aubergine.

Along with a picture of bratty and the polite neighbour. Drunk. And snogging.

...covered in peanut butter...

I've always had people talking away to me at bus stops, queues etc, hate it cos I couldn't tell you my own name in the mornings...

Which shouldn't be a problem, unless they ask you what your name is...!

It says "posted Thursday" I should have looked more closely that is says 12.41am not pm.

"he was always a quiet neighbour, you know, kept himself to himself, I just said "lovely weather isn't it?" and he flipped, you don't expect it to happen un your own neighbourhood do you? It's like something out of a film, peanut butter everywhere."

That's it! I'll run about shouting, 'I'm PC Ernie!' - people will be afraid to speak to me

Any chance you'd just get arrested for impersonating a police office?

Confused. That was the point of my fail! The course was meant to be on Weds but I had thought I'd booked it for Thursday and hence entered it into my iphone as being on Thursday. All documentation, emails and the website stated it was Wednesday. God knows why I had Thurs 23rd in my mind. Even at the time of entering it into my iphone, I thought it would be a bit awkward to have the Weds off, the Thurs at a course, and a series of 12-hour shifts over Fri/Sat/Sun.

I've emailed them and though they can't squeeze me in at another venue, they're going to post me all of the information and CD (which contains the entire course material) so it'll be like I was there but asleep. As I have been in most of my lectures.

Nah, you rarely see the police these days

That is true. There used to be a local police sub-station basically so they could drop off have a pee and a coffee before returning out on duty, and even a local copper for the area. I have never seen him.

1999 Vauxhall Vectra 1.8i estate automatic.

A couple of careless owners. Recent MOT and tax. Recently had cambelt changed, and has a new throttle body, but runs like a three-legged dog because the engine control unit has gone to silicon heaven. Free to anyone that wants to drive it away.

<irony>Would make an excellent first restoration project of this soon-to-be-classic.</irony>