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Tales of Fail Thread 
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leeds_manc
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Post Re: Tales of Fail Thread
rustybucket wrote:
Quote:
Jesus was born in a manger

:shock: The sheer mechanics of that sentence are mind-boggling.

Especially when you consider the lack of sperm.
Thu Jan 06, 2011 9:53 pm
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JJW009
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Post Re: Tales of Fail Thread
leeds_manc wrote:
Especially when you consider the lack of sperm.

Are you suggesting God's impotent? Are you? Hay? Hay?

E'll 'ave you E will!

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Thu Jan 06, 2011 10:41 pm
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rustybucket
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Post Re: Tales of Fail Thread
As per the FPotD thread:

Quote:
Dentist: You're getting side-entry cavities because you're not flossing properly.
Me: I don't floss at all.

*stunned silence*

Dentist: Why not?
Me: I've never flossed, I' ve never seen anybody floss, I've never been taught how to do it, nobody's ever mentioned it and I wouldn't know how to do it if you asked me.

*stunned silence*

Dentist: Would you like me to teach you?


:oops: :roll: :oops:

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Fri Jan 07, 2011 10:48 am
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l3v1ck
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Post Re: Tales of Fail Thread
JJW009 wrote:
leeds_manc wrote:
Especially when you consider the lack of sperm.
;)
Are you suggesting God's impotent? Are you? Hay? Hay?
Nope, I'm suggesting Mary was a cheating slapper who lied to her husband. ;) :lol:

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pcernie wrote:
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Fri Jan 07, 2011 10:58 am
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rustybucket
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Post Re: Tales of Fail Thread
l3v1ck wrote:
JJW009 wrote:
leeds_manc wrote:
Especially when you consider the lack of sperm.
;)
Are you suggesting God's impotent? Are you? Hay? Hay?
Nope, I'm suggesting Mary was a cheating slapper who lied to her husband. ;) :lol:

Fiancé.

They weren't married by that point. ;)

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Fri Jan 07, 2011 11:06 am
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belchingmatt
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Post Re: Tales of Fail Thread
rustybucket wrote:
As per the FPotD thread:

Quote:
Dentist: You're getting side-entry cavities because you're not flossing properly.
Me: I don't floss at all.

*stunned silence*

Dentist: Why not?
Me: I've never flossed, I' ve never seen anybody floss, I've never been taught how to do it, nobody's ever mentioned it and I wouldn't know how to do it if you asked me.

*stunned silence*

Dentist: Would you like me to teach you?


:oops: :roll: :oops:


Sort of like telling a stylist that you wash your hair with shower gel. :lol:

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Dive like a fish, drink like a fish!

><(((º>`•.¸¸.•´¯`•.¸><(((º>
•.¸¸.•´¯`•.¸><(((º>`•.¸¸.•´¯`•.¸><(((º>

If one is diving so close to the limits that +/- 1% will make a difference then the error has already been made.
Fri Jan 07, 2011 6:59 pm
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jonlumb
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Post Re: Tales of Fail Thread
belchingmatt wrote:
Sort of like telling a stylist that you wash your hair with shower gel. :lol:



Ooh, I've so got to try that at some point. I do use a relatively expensive hairdressers, but purely because they are just round the corner and I'm a lazy sod.

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Sat Jan 08, 2011 9:58 am
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Blue_Nowhere
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Post Re: Tales of Fail Thread
jonlumb wrote:
belchingmatt wrote:
Sort of like telling a stylist that you wash your hair with shower gel. :lol:



Ooh, I've so got to try that at some point. I do use a relatively expensive hairdressers, but purely because they are just round the corner and I'm a lazy sod.


+1 and they do do a pretty good job, plus they trim my beard and eyebrows for no extra cost :D

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ProfessorF wrote:
(The author of this post assumes no responsibility for any jail time served by anyone making use of this suggestion.)
Sun Jan 09, 2011 3:28 am
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l3v1ck
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Post Re: Tales of Fail Thread
You trim your eyebrows? :shock:

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pcernie wrote:
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Sun Jan 09, 2011 9:13 am
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belchingmatt
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Post Re: Tales of Fail Thread
l3v1ck wrote:
You trim your eyebrows? :shock:


I believe he said that they trim his eyebrows. :shock:

That's happened to me a couple of times. Finished the cut and then before I knew what was happening there was a comb and scissors cutting away the longer hairs in my eyebrow. :lol:

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Dive like a fish, drink like a fish!

><(((º>`•.¸¸.•´¯`•.¸><(((º>
•.¸¸.•´¯`•.¸><(((º>`•.¸¸.•´¯`•.¸><(((º>

If one is diving so close to the limits that +/- 1% will make a difference then the error has already been made.
Sun Jan 09, 2011 9:35 am
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bobbdobbs
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Post Re: Tales of Fail Thread
updating ubuntu.. lead to a highly catastrophic MBR failure only to discover there was no live disc handy for repair.

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Sun Jan 09, 2011 11:23 am
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ProfessorF
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Post Re: Tales of Fail Thread
l3v1ck wrote:
You trim your eyebrows? :shock:


My hairdresser does the same. Slightly alarming the first time, but I tend to start looking like an owl if he doesn't. A brief look at my father tells me eyebrow trimming is a good thing.

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Sun Jan 09, 2011 11:47 am
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AlunD
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Post Re: Tales of Fail Thread
ProfessorF wrote:
l3v1ck wrote:
You trim your eyebrows? :shock:


My hairdresser does the same. Slightly alarming the first time, but I tend to start looking like an owl if he doesn't. A brief look at my father tells me eyebrow trimming is a good thing.


My wife does mine periodically. :roll:

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Sun Jan 09, 2011 11:49 am
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hifidelity2
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Post Re: Tales of Fail Thread
belchingmatt wrote:
rustybucket wrote:
As per the FPotD thread:

Quote:
Dentist: You're getting side-entry cavities because you're not flossing properly.
Me: I don't floss at all.

*stunned silence*

Dentist: Why not?
Me: I've never flossed, I' ve never seen anybody floss, I've never been taught how to do it, nobody's ever mentioned it and I wouldn't know how to do it if you asked me.

*stunned silence*

Dentist: Would you like me to teach you?


:oops: :roll: :oops:


Sort of like telling a stylist that you wash your hair with shower gel. :lol:

But I always use shower gel - whats wrong with that

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John_Vella wrote:
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Sun Jan 09, 2011 12:52 pm
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E. F. Benson
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Post Re: Tales of Fail Thread
err Gerrard
Sun Jan 09, 2011 2:43 pm
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