Right only a few weeks until my sister gets married and she has asked me to give her away and so far I haven’t managed anything towards a speech.

I hate making speeches and normally go red as a beetroot when centre of attention so any hints and tips would be grateful from my forum buddies

This what I was thinking –

Welcome and thanks guest

Welcome the groom into the family

Talk about the bride with a story or two

My thoughts on a successful marriage (cough…)

Toast

Sit back down and start enjoying myself

Yes, but keep it clean. .


Again, diplomacy would seem the better option..


I believe it's also customary for the FotB (who you are standing in for) to thank the caterers and whichever-religious-or-not-official who is overseeing the formal wedding procedure.

Jon

Keep it short. I've always hated speeches that go on and on. Part of the problem is that they're given by people who tend not to give speeches in working life and hence don't have the ability to keep it punchy.

Dont forget to

- Thank anyone who has helped out inc Bridesmaids, Mother in law, etc

and if as you say you are not a comfortable speaker then keep it short.

One tip is to practise it out loud a few times so that you get comfortable with saying the words.

If I have to give a big presentation at work thats what I do so by the time I come to give the speech I hardly need to read my Q cards and can concentrate of the actual delivery

Aye - practise, practise, practise.

No mentioning of her sexual exploits with the rugby team or similar.

Keep it short. No point in stressing yourself.

When I did my wedding speach, I just had an A4 sheet with bullet points (large font) of the areas I wanted to cover.
That way it wouldn't sound aweful as I wouldn't be trying to read the entire thing off a piece of paper.

It worked well, but here was just one small hiccup. I forgot to put my wife down as a bullet point so I didn't mention her in the speech. We both (or more specifically SHE) only noticed a month or two later when we watched the wedding DVD.

I've always tended to avoid stories because they're seldom short, exciting or funny enough for inclusion. Also something that is special between you and your sister will probably lose quite a lot in translation when you try to tell others - the old "You had to be there" factor.

So this is how, over the years, I've found it works best - if you write it out, practise beforehand, speak clearly and take your time you should be bang on 3 minutes. Much longer and everyone will want to kill you.

(Eek! Just realised I've been Groom, Best Man, Groomsman, Brother otB and acting FotB )

• Introduce yourself
  Some people, e.g. groom's friends, may not know what relation you have to the couple so tell them
  
  
• Welcome and thank guests
  Thank you for coming, sharing the day with us and making the day very special
  Hope you enjoyed the ceremony
  
  
• Talk about why the bride is very special to you
  Doesn't she look lovely?
  She's very special to me because.... (keep it brief, not too detailed and don't make people nauseous)
  Thank you for asking me to do this (speak to the bride at this point)
  
  
• Welcome the groom into the family
  You're a good man and we all know you'll look after her
  We all can't wait to see what you two will accomplish together
  
  
• A bit of advice
  I tend to say something like the following: "Communication is supposed to be the key to a marriage but I've always found that I'm very quick to speak and all too slow to listen. So I wonder if you two could do me a favour - keep listening to each other and always be ready to say sorry"
  
  
• Thank yous:
  
  1. Bride's mother - not just for her efforts in organizing the wedding but also in supporting yourself and the family
  2. Bridesmaids for helping the bride and mention how beautiful they all look.
  3. Everyone who played any part in the wedding, e.g. registrar/minister, florist, or other family members who helped in the wedding arrangements.
• Toast
  Please take your glasses and join me in a toast... (pause for 3 seconds) ...The Bride and Groom
  
  
• Sit back down
  
  
• Make sure you laugh at the Groom's and Best Man's jokes no matter how awful they are
  ...because there's nothing more excruciating for the bride than when the guests are laughing and the FotB is giving out sh!t-eye
  
  
• Start enjoying yourself

Try to avoid telling her that it could very well end in heartbreak, sorrow, bitterness and pain.
Steer clear of those things and you'll (probably) be okay.

Mark

Wow cheers for the feedback and advice everybody

Thanks Jim for the pointers, just what I needed and very useful to build my speech around.

Good Luck!

Make a small joke at the beginning, to break the ice. If you can get a small laugh, when you start, it makes the whole thing easier.

I was best man at my brother's wedding and started with "I feel naked up here today, without my PowerPoints." Enough people laughed, that I relaxed and I did the rest of the speech from memory, without looking at the bullet points I had printed out. I came over much more natural.

Also, with the stories, they should be amusing, if possible, but not embarassing (or not too embarassing), it is her day, so you don't want to ruin it for her.

I said that my brother was a lucky git and always came up smelling of roses - then gave a couple of examples, like the time he took the kids he was looking after (he was an au pair in America) climbing on the rocks along the coast. He knocked the smallest one in the water, but quickly fished him back out again. If that had been you or me, the kid would have told the parents "David knocked me off the rocks into the water!" But with Richard, the kid ran into the house screaming, "mummy, mummy! I fell of the rocks and Richard saved me!"

It is an amusing story, not too embarassing and makes everybody feel good.

Talking about the time she borrowed dad's car and left her knickers in the glove box is probably not the sort of story that you want to tell at the wedding, at the hen night maybe, but not at the wedding!

I did a Best Man speech for a friend.
The biggest tip someone gave me was that it is the easiest audience you'll ever have.
Everyone in that room is on your side.

And as Dave says, there's a line you shouldn't cross with the stories. Hint at others, by all means, but know the mark.

If you can, try not to read from a script. It usually leads to stumbling, getting lost, and when you keep looking at a sheet of paper you lose contact with the audience. Get yourself some index cards and write memory-joggers on them. It'll help you seem more spontaneous and natural when you glance down and launch into things. It'll also help if you suddenly remember on the day a story perhaps isn't apt after all, when you can skip that card and still carry on.

And don't forget to rehearse a couple of times at least. You have to stumble through, make corrections and edit stuff that doesn't work. Repeat until you feel comfortable with what you're trying to say. Of course you'll be nervous when you stand up, but take a deep breath, compose yourself, and set off. Once you're in the swing, and the audience is on your side, you'll be off and running.

Finally, keep it as short as possible without making it seem like you're rushing it.

There's also the option of using a digital camera to record your read-throughs so you can see how you come across.