I'm I the only one here who thinks that that's just wrong. If that was me I'd want to say goodbye to the ones I love before I died.

+1 so wrong on so many levels.

It does seem wrong but I can sort of see why it might be the case.
If it's a blanket policy then it's totally wrong. If it's a judgement call that takes into account the patients mental state and the likely effect of realising their time is very limited then I can see why the hospital staff may not want to tip them off, it may make things worse and send the patient down hill even faster due to anxiety and fear.

Difficult to accept and deal with and I do not envy the hospital staff who have to make these decisions in any way shape or form.

Condolences to cloaked_wolf and family, I hope you manage to get to see your uncle in time and that he's as comfortable as possible.

Thanks. On Thursday last week, we had been told be had 24 hours to live, so it was open visiting for us. But over the next three days, as he seemed to be doing okay, it was restricted to normal visiting hours. The sheer number of visitors was actually having a detrimental effect on him and thr fact that there was an argument between his sisters didn't help.

I'm grateful we managed to see him twice and both times he was alert, orientated and hence able to have a coherent conversation. He was still cracking jokes! Just sad to see him go.

As I've said before, I can cope with his death. No idea how his family are - just can't even imagine it. What makes me choke is the fact that he will never see his 5 year old son grow up and in all probability his son will never have a memory of him. At least his daughter is around 14 years old so she knew what kind of person her father was.

It is very sad but hopefully the 5 year old may have some memories of his father that are happy and positive. I've recently seen (endured) photos of myself when I was that young and I can remember some of it....just fleeting impressions of places and people.

Yes but there are more videos of people than there used to be. Cheap camcorders helped that.

He had epilepsy so had an aversion to flash photography and video cameras as they could potentially trigger his epilepsy. A few photos but no videos that I'm aware of.

Sad.

I'm going to ask the daughter at some point to record all memories and thoughts in some kind of diary so that when the son is older, she can tell him all about his father. Will have to wait for a while so mustn't forget.

Just visited him. He's become a little encephalopathic (confusion due to liver failure), which I think is a prelude to him deteriorating. If he didn't have renal failure, he could easily recover from this.

Is he on dialysis?


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No. Dialysis applies in specific conditions. He has hepatorenal syndrome. Dialysis would not work in this situation. What he really needs is a liver transplant but he is so unwell that he wouldn't survive.

Sorry to hear that.

He finally died. Peacefully I hope - despite the ensuing family row that pretty much marrs all occasions. My aunt's sister (also my aunt) was fantastic as support for her - she was there most days of the week and has been up for over 24 hours. I was called around lunch time, had to drop work (who have been fantastic and allowed me to work a half-day at a time so I could drop the other half of the day and leave.

I was okay until everybody started crying when he passed, at which point it's difficult to see everyone's sad faces and not cry at their distress. All of the seniors were willing to give up their lives so he could live his.

Given that my uncle's family and my aunt's family don't get along, I'm not sure whether we'll be able to attend the funeral. There'll still be more tears for a few weeks yet.

I cannot even begin to imagine what's going through the minds of my aunt and her daughter.

Bugger

So sorry to hear that. Can't really say anything more.

Thanks guys. Lying to your family is horrendous. He was deteriorating, and the staff had taken his drip down. He was drinking sips from a straw and his urine output went up. Everybody thought he was doing better and improving. They asked me why the urine output increased. I lied and said I didn't know. I didn't have the courage to tell them his body had given up. Instead of restricting blood flow to the vital organs (brain, heart, lungs) it gave up so more blood flow went to the kidneys, increasing his urine output. Whilst everyone was praying, hoping, believing him to improve, I knew he had hours, if that. He died within about seven hours.

Tonight, my aunt and my daughter will be crying themselves to sleep. Tomorrow, they have to face a future without a husband and father.