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Spends far too much time on here
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Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 8:38 am
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Location: Dorchester, Dorset
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Doesn't help one iota, and it's a right old cliche, but it's one day at a time and they will cope. Life is full of sad and happy moments and you have to remember to enjoy the good times when they're happening, because there will be bad times. Of that you can be sure.

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Fri Jul 22, 2011 11:15 pm
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I haven't seen my friends in so long
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Joined: Thu Apr 23, 2009 6:58 pm
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Location: behind the sofa
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I think I posted here quite recently, I'm dreading the day one of my parents die. There's nothing I can do about the inevitable. I just hope it's relatively peaceful. In the end, what else can anyone realistically wish for?

You have my sympathy, for what it's worth. May everyone remember the best of him and celebrate those memories and treasure what they may have learned from him.

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Sat Jul 23, 2011 1:57 am
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I haven't seen my friends in so long
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Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 6:37 am
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Location: Peebo
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cloaked_wolf wrote:
Thanks guys. Lying to your family is horrendous. He was deteriorating, and the staff had taken his drip down. He was drinking sips from a straw and his urine output went up. Everybody thought he was doing better and improving. They asked me why the urine output increased. I lied and said I didn't know. I didn't have the courage to tell them his body had given up. Instead of restricting blood flow to the vital organs (brain, heart, lungs) it gave up so more blood flow went to the kidneys, increasing his urine output. Whilst everyone was praying, hoping, believing him to improve, I knew he had hours, if that. He died within about seven hours.

Tonight, my aunt and my daughter will be crying themselves to sleep. Tomorrow, they have to face a future without a husband and father.


My condolences on you and your families loss.

Regrettably the urine flow question was a no win situation. You were the one who was there and you made a choice not to further burden your relations with knowledge that wouldn't have made any difference to the outcome. I can totally see why you did so.

Remember the good stuff, let the bad fade into distant memory and get on with living.

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Sat Jul 23, 2011 8:46 am
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Doesn't have much of a life
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Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2009 12:43 pm
Posts: 1798
Location: Manchester
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My sympathies to you and your family, that's very sad news.

I hope your family can put aside their differences in times like this, so that everyone can grieve for him properly. Sadly, sometimes these things push families further apart - hope that doesn't happen in your case.

Don't beat yourself up about not telling them the inevitable outcome of his condition, you were protecting them from the awful reality, that's all. There was no need to burden them with that information, in fact it could have made their final days with him even more stressful and upsetting - and he would surely have picked up on those vibes.

As I said before, I really feel for his wife and kids - they'll need plenty of support and hugs in the coming months.
:cry:

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Sat Jul 23, 2011 10:43 am
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What's a life?
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Joined: Thu Apr 23, 2009 8:46 pm
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Well it's happened. The funeral was yesterday.

Throughout this entire thing, my uncle's family (mainly the immediate family) have been hostile towards mine. When my uncle moved away, when he developed epilepsy, etc they blamed this on the fact that he married my aunt and our family. So when he died, the first thing his father said to my grandad was "Congratulations". Even in the period leading up to the funeral, they did everything to be difficult: they argued with our family when we went over to visit my aunt; they wouldn't tell us which funeral home had the body so we couldn't see him; they wouldn't let us attend the wake (the senior family members still went).

In some ways, the fact that our families will now part ways means we won't have to encounter them.

The funeral itself was the most difficult thing for me. I thought I'd be prepared but it was tearful when my uncle's daughter (and his dad) were the ones to push the button for the cremation. I can't imagine what the daughter is going through, nor my aunt. But we've been there to support her. The son, being young, had a happy time in the park feeding the ducks.

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Sat Jul 30, 2011 7:05 am
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I haven't seen my friends in so long
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Joined: Thu Jun 18, 2009 5:10 pm
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cloaked_wolf wrote:
In some ways, the fact that our families will now part ways means we won't have to encounter them.

Very sad to hear that.

Unfortunately, you can't help other people being childish.

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Sat Jul 30, 2011 9:41 am
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