My sister's going out with a bank manager. She wants me to meet him. So I plan to scare him [LIFTED], just for a laugh. Current plan is to turn up unannounced, eat some of the food and then intimidate and interrogate him. Said sister is aware and is currently making suitable plans to go out with him for lunch tomorrow. Nothing fancy - something like Pizza Express or Los Iguanos.

So...short of coming a in Punisher costume T-shirt, with weapons, what kind of things should I be asking? Banking crisis/bankers are crap etc isn't the angle I'm going for.
He's taller and more stacked than me, so physical confrontation isn't an option - at least not as a "fair" fight.

Ideas?

Ask him what his intentions are, and whether he'll be asking permission before he proposes.

Take a cloth with which to polish the cutlery. When doing the knife, look him dead in the eye and say 'Do you think anyone would miss you if you were to go missing?'

These days you could probably make him nervous just by saying you wanted a mortgage

Actually, can I ask why you want to intimidate him?
Why not just have a nice night out?

It's more of me playing the "overprotective brother" part. According to my sister, we have lots in common so technically will get on just fine.

Just want to wind him up a bit to see how he reacts more than anything. Far more indicative of character than any chat.

TBH if my sister's happy with him, I'm happy so not an issue.

You want to keep an eye out though. You may just spot “that twitch” that she’s missed

Well take a set of scalpels and a vicious looking bone saw. Wave them around and tell him in gruesome detail, how long you can draw out his death, if he ever hurts your sister. Mention a few nerves which will mean he is in excruciating pain while he slowly bleeds to death, and then when he is dead tell him that you will you can cut him up with a bone saw and have the remains burnt in the hospital incinerator and he will never be found. Add in a slightly psychotic tone "Are we clear?"

It helps if you have a big roll of plastic on the floor which he is standing on to add to the effect.

Dress up as a clown, and don't make ANY reference to it.

i'm not sure that showing up with a load of pointy medical stuff will go down that well with the restaurant. By all means go into minute detail about grim aspects of your job, talk about having really liked how they dealt with the body in train spotting.
If you want to freak him out try coming onto him and see how he copes with that.

That's a bit too far for me!

Anyway it's been postponed till next weekend so have more time to think.

Trying to think of ways I can twist questions eg how much do you earn? That's not much is it? Do youthink you can support a family on that? Etc

My grandfather was a consultant pathologist. Meals with him were interesting to say the least. You'd find out what was wrong with a liver, or someone's blood chemistry over lunch. In the time I knew him, this was really the only thing I say that crept me out about him.

+1 Being intimidating might be fun for you but it'd be horrible for your sister.

That said, I'd turn up late in a suit, white shirt, black necktie and yellow button-hole. Ask him to stand up and when he does, take out your tape measure and notepad and start measuring him as for a coffin. When asked what you're doing, reply only that it's "Just in case".

Then leave.

Spike your hair up, get down to a face-painter and mock up some Maori face tattoos.

Drop in the fact that you've just done a spot of time for GBH.