http://i.imgur.com/U9z9j.jpg

Porno Shoot Barbie?

I have chosen to post this on Scuba board, not the P.A.D.I. or S.S.I. boards as the volume people looking for a job, any job, is overwhelming and a complete waste of my time.
I have had good luck here before, and currently have one staff member who has been with me for 8 months so far, and she plans to remain a further 2 years.
I hope you are on the board to increase your knowledge as the P.A.D.I. cool aid is not the only drink available in the shop.
What I write below is going to seems quite harsh. However it is the reality I have to face both in my business with my customers and within my very small, very closely knit team.
In fact I am a very nice, considerate and patient beyond belief guy.

I am being direct about what I expect in a new hire to save you coming all the way here just to be leaving again shortly after....
We are a small shop currently staffed by one MSDT/DCSI and two D.M.`s.
We are looking for a newly qualified D.M. or D.M.T. to work with us in a new dive shop. We have been in business just over a year and are located on a remote island in the South China Sea off the coast of Vietnam.

D.M.T.`s by interview only, ( Must be Rescue Qualified)
I cannot be paid enough for how much you will learn. Preference will be given to women in their late twenties.
If I choose to take you on as a D.M.T. there will be no course costs except materials. You will receive the most intensive Dive Master program I can imagine. You will not be spoon fed the course information, or anything else, I will be doing it, you can consider yourself my shadow and learn hands on as I deal with everything from doing business in a third world country, maintaining the boat diesel engine and taking care of the compressors.


D.M.`s
Preference will be given to women in their late twenties. Spare us the P.M.S., if you are not emotionally in control you have no place here.


FLUENT ENGLISH IS A MUST
Multilingual is a plus.

You will be expected to have your own equipment.

French candidates need not apply.
British women are a possibility. British males, considering the many I have met and worked with in the diving field....we will likely not get along.


Also people who have never spent time in remote Asia will find the transition to our remote location difficult if not impossible.
They just started importing butter to the island last month and I have to special order diet coke.


You will be expected to learn, if you do not know already, all aspects of dive shop operation, from sales to regulator repair, compressor repair.


Open minded team player only; take a careful look at your self when you consider this.
Everybody thinks they are, but in reality the numbers are very few.


We are a small tightly bound group and the only full time resident expats on the island.
Tourists are still gawked at by the locals.


Cost of an inexpensive room on the island is about $150 a month, basic food and will cost about $100.
D.M.T.`s you will bear these costs until you have proven to me that you are qualified to take my boat out and handle the responsibility that I am giving you.(4-6 months) After that I will provide room, and food with a one year commitment from you. Salary adjusted with experience.

Qualified dive masters will get a basic salary to cover living expenses until proven qualified. After completing qualification you will receive a base salary of $300 or so per month plus commissions on bookings. (1-2 months) Current D.M.`s save about $500 to $700 per month, these are the best salaries in the country.


We are a tiny shop and took out less then 500 divers last year but we expect the numbers to explode this year.

This position is intended as long term employment, minimum 1 year.


Environmental awareness is essential, but spare me the bleeding heart tree huggers. Unless you want to take over my responsibilities with the W.W.F. and U.N.D.P., which I will gladly hand over as protecting the environment here is taking massive amounts of my time.


If you are not prepared to deliver 5 star service at all times, do not bother to send a resume.


Ultimately you will have responsibility for my boat and my customers, to pass this test you will have to impress me.
Please do start by sending a resume in legible, grammatically correct English. If you say you are detail oriented, the first step in proving this is to write to me in proper English. Spell Check works even if you are not a native speaker.
(The awful writing I often get is simply shocking and results in immediate circular file.)


Do not consider this position if you have excessive tattoos.


Any piercings not in your ears ? Pass


Drinking and drugs are OUT, no discussion. Do not apply.



Smoking is ok.


Offended? Good, we are cutting out the dead wood.


Challenged? You may be the right person for the job.



Without a cover letter detailing why this job is for YOU. I will not reply.


(You would not believe the number of self possessed diving gods that respond on the P.A.D.I. boards by the HUNDREDS, one must wonder if they are so terrific why are they searching for a job.)

Gentlemen, I am not interested in near full frontal nudes of your beautiful bodies, spare me okay ? Save the eight or ten photos, as the internet takes time here and I am not interested in the 8X10 high resolution glossies of your six pack. I would like one small photo, this is not a beauty contest but a job application.

Preference will be given to women in their late twenties. Spare us the P.M.S., if you are not emotionally in control you have no place here.
FLUENT ENGLISH IS A MUST
Multilingual is a plus.
You will be expected to have your own equipment.
French candidates need not apply.
British women are a possibility. British males, considering the many I have met and worked with in the diving field....we will likely not get along.

I am a complete weapon. And a misogynist, racist, lecherous one at that. If you have absolutely no self-esteem and would like to pay good money to be my lapdog for an extended period out in the middle of nowhere where you won't be able to get away from me for months on end, why not apply?'

WTF very deceptive pic, only saw first half of the photo and I was thinking "wtf thats a womans hand, smooth skin, long fingernails, very feminine, *scrolls down and sees a gorilla* "OH..S.."

Strangely familiar:
http://www.buzzfeed.com/hgrant/this-is-what-crazy-looks-like-via-text-messaging