Don't give them ideas

Dear Shoe-shops of the UK,

I want to buy a pair of size 12 black shoes.

My feet are UK size 12. This is a common size. So why is less than half your stock available in this common size?

I do not want brown, beige, grey or blue shoes; I want black.

I do not want not boots, venetians, spectators, loafers, moccassins, cabin, deck or boat shoes. I do not want pointy winkel-picker-type shiny-suited flashy-git shoes nor do I want rockport goes with track-suit bottoms shoes. And I most definitely do not want trainers.

I want to buy a pair of size 12 black Derby or Oxford shoes. This should not be difficult. But apparently none of you know what you are doing.

Long ago I decided that when shopping for clothing you are not going to find what you want, only what someone else thinks everyone wants...

My experience is that very few clothes shops care about the male population. They only care about women and children, because they're the ones that spend 99% of the money.

Did you not watch the 15 Million Merits episode of Black Mirror?

The scary thing is that I was at an "open discussion" the other week with reps from TV, ISPs and advertisers. The main point of the discussion quickly became how to introduce a system the logical conclusion of which is everything monitoring what we watch, do, say and monitising it. Want to skip the ads? that's a pound, want to watch extra ads? get 50p credit, tweet during BGT and get a text next time you're in town near the shop that sells the cloths you said you liked.

Rusty, I'd advise ecco? or Jones?

You wanna try getting 13's...

Aaargh! I've only just moved to Mint 12 only to discover that I can't install GIMP 2.8.

I find it hard getting shoes my size - which is a 7. Shops never seem to have that size in stock either.

Also, given that I hate spending more than £50 on a pair of shoes, I spend a lot of time browsing sales etc. My size, 10, is usually the first to go.
Those Amazon emails - whenever I check, it's a rare thing to find a pair of 10s in the sale.

I could believe it, if you're not a camp hipster who fits some mysterious shopping demographic you're nobody these days...

So, the wifes job is under threat - 3 months max and she's either going to keep some sort of job at just over half her wages or nowt..... and all because some fcuking wnacker couldn't do his sums and doesn't have the balls to sort it. Looks like retirement is over for me............

Al

Jesus, best of luck, I bet you're ready for a Hulk-style rage

I have that exact problem. It's really annoying.