http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-21719774

Meanwhile, inspectors have stopped meat production at a plant in Poland run by a firm that exports to the UK. Viola denies claims that it was adding rotten meat to its products at the plant in the northern village of Lniano.

Nothing really surprises me any longer about this. Thankfully I now have a mincer and can make my own mince. So only really need to get a fresh supply to make my own Soylent Green.

The Swedish furniture giant Ikea has withdrawn almond cakes from its restaurants in 23 countries after bacteria normally found in faecal matter was discovered.

The group confirmed it was investigating claims that Chinese authorities had found "an excessive level" of coliform bacteria in two batches of the cake made by a Swedish supplier. The product remains on sale in its 19 branches in UK and Ireland, which are not supplied by the company under investigation.

I had horse balls once. The doctor gave me some pills and I got better.

<shuffles sideways off stage>