Apparently Michael Jackson died after choking on some twelve year old nuts.

Gary Glitter is going to speak at the eulogy about some of Jacko's greatest achievements, it's hoped he'll touch on his music career also.

He wasn't going to do all those O2 concerts anyway. He said he wasn't coming to the UK when he found out the '£2000 for a 10 year old' actually referred to the car scrappage scheme.

Bitter sweet moment for Madonna. Today she lost a good friend, on the other hand there are now 3 more black kids for her to adopt.

Apologies if any (or all lol) of those had been mentioned in this thread, I'm pretty sure they weren't in the other thread but I didn't read all of that massively long post I'm afraid!

Jacskon's cardiac arrest yesterday was of historic importance. It was his first arrest not related to child molestation...

I'm quite shocked bish.

I've heard 2 good one's

Reports of Michael Jacksons death have been misreported, he did not die of a heart attack.

It was food poisoning. He was found sucking on a 12 year old sausage.

or

He was found in the children's ward having a stroke.

Joe

This one came in from Viz Top Tips on Twitter:

I'm assuming he'll be buried rather than cremated. There are laws about burning that much plastic.

Reports of Jackson's heart attack were premature. He was actually in the children's ward having a stroke.

I'll just bump this above the duplicate thread.

I got this one via SMS,

This NSFW bit of YouTube malarkey is funny:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=opguPNjs2yw