I fell in love with the game whilst at grammar school in the early nineties and I used to play for my University in the BCAFL. I loved it because I could never, ever succeed at soccer; I was too thin and gangly and then became too large and muscly to be of any reasonable use. My team won the 1998/99 Central Division Championship; it is a success that will stay with me for the rest of my life.
Soccer and netball are still the only sports taught in most northern schools that I have seen and as such, most people will never be able to have
any success whatsoever - Britain can only support so many footballers. However, there are a plethora of brilliant sports that are crying out for players.
I still wish that the schools I attended had taught other sports such as American Football, Rugby Union, Rugby League, Handball, Volleyball, Badminton etc. If they had I might not have spent 14 years as everybody else's favourite hit-me target because I was crap at soccer.
I must disagree sir.
IMO American Football is a wonderful tactical spectacle, turgid and mobile, full of excitement and cut-and-thrust. Furthermore it was known to be Einstein's favourite sport - he called it "human chess". Each and every member of the team has a unique and very technical role to fill; in addition each has to know the job of the men around him. Every member of the team has to know every single formation and every single variation of each play. As a Nose Tackle (my position), changing from a Buckeye Fire Quick to a Buckeye Bear Fire Sam had a huge effect in everything I did, from where I stood, who I hit, where on their body I hit them, which direction I drove them down to how far apart my feet were, which foot I moved first and which hand I put on the ground. I spent endless days poring over playbooks and videos, cruet set models and bits of paper in order to raise my game. I spent hours and hours trying to raise my fitness, refine my techniques, tackle harder, tone my muscles, run faster.
Then there’s the game itself. When a well-oiled, on-fire offence pulls off play after play, Twins Left 32 Leads and Double Screen Reverses, it’s lovely to watch. But I’m biased towards defence. When a defence, skills honed by hour after gruelling hour of drills and revision, shuts down everything the opposition does, blitz after blitz, sack after merciless sack, it becomes truly beautiful to behold.
Then there’s the command and control structure, the backroom staff, studying films and body language, radios comms with the captains, sign language to be learned and adapted, information about what is happening on the line, tactical suggestions, physios and trainers treating injuries.
I defy anyone to look at all that, to truly understand it and to say that it is rubbish. I personally have no love of a soccer that doesn’t allow its skinny, slightly-effeminate participants to touch each other or a Rugby Union where cheating is utterly rampant.
In fairness, Soho strippers get to wear more body armour than troops in Afghanistan.
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