Clinginess in a relationship define. I have had the most irritating text off my girlfriend that apparently I'm clingy. Now I wouldn't mind but I am not clingy relatively.

On sunday after an arguement with my mum I decide to finally get round to ask my girlfriend to come mine on the monday (being a bank holiday and all) so she says " oh I'm going out with friends and on wednesday I'm dealing with familly" so me already seeing red (because of a futile arguement with my mum, leaving a power cable at my dads for the PC and I didn't place a tenner on an accumulater that'd have won me £2500) texts her back with an angry toned text concerning the fact that I have barely spent time with her so she says "well we can meet on tue or thurs" so I pick tuesday.

Already do I have the random flashing lights that after 2-3 months or so of this she's messing me about which as opposed to an affection problem or time together problem is more of a daft male pride problem, I do not voice these complaints until today tuesday when I camplain because she cancels because "of tiredness and mood" and after some sweat leaf and still angry I go to text again saying "well you can come mine and rest really because we aren't doin owt." so then I get a no and then complain about the general lack of any form of togetherness in the relationship well then I get a reply saying "well I would want to see you more if you weren't so clingy" I ask "howso" " well not stoping going on when I don't want to or can't see you." This time was the only time I have stood up and bothered to say owt when disposed of.

Ofcourse what she doesn't get It that it's more a bothering that she's just messing me about (that hurts pride) and that if I didn't bother arranging times to be together me and her would never see each other.

Now ofcourse I am totally in the wrong on counts of being a pride driven dick head but I hope not to be judged severly clingy.

Is that what I think it is? (not tea)

It was tea

I wouldn't usually mention such and I don't consume tea often its just part of the story and I like calling it that listening to sabbath and that.

Tsk, cor, women eh?

Sorry, I have nothing else to add. That's about my limit of understanding.

I know what you mean about if you don't talk to her and try to get stuff arranged you wouldn't see each other. I often feel like that with friends.

Not really able to comment on this situation though. It's probably far more complex than it seems, and I'd hate to say anything that might cause a problem.

Perhaps you could tell her you won't be clingy any more and then when you talk to her not mention going out together, or going round hers etc - see how long/if she mentions it to you?

I can only give you one piece of advice.

Dump her, and get someone that is actually WORHT your time, and WANTS to spend time with you, and will move mountains just so she CAN be with you?

She's really no good. So If you really are so pride driven, do yourse;f a favour and kick her to the kerb. I'm sure she won't mind, nor miss you seems as she has hardly ever seen you through the corse of your relationship.

There.

Perhaps stop arranging to see her at all, let her do the running for a bit. If she doesn't bother then you have your answer and can move on. IMO it's pointless one person trying to do all the work in any relationship, it never works for long, and if you trying to set a date and then commenting (however you did it) when she breaks the arrangement is "clingy" to her then perhaps you have different interpretations of your relationship.

For the record, I used to be married to a guy whom not only did I live with, but he changed jobs to work at the same place as me, always wanted us to do everything together, even if he just wanted to watch TV, and would only 'let' me go out on my own, without complaint, when I was having a night out with the girls. That's clingy in my book!!

No need to dump her immediately. I would go with the back it off for a while vibe. Take a back seat for a couple days and just see what plays out. Zippy's right.

It's a balancing act - she's backing away, so the natural reaction is to over-compensate, but you should really try to back away too, let her come after you.

Women always want what they can't have - if she knows she can have you, she may not want you.

I've learned that lesson already!!

That made me chuckle. I have it on vinyl

As to the relationship, I'm not really one to give advice (I'm kinda clingy, lol) but I'd go with what others have said. It sounds like she doesn't enjoy spending time with you, which doesn't sound like much of a commitment to me. If you're OK with a "relationship of her convenience" then just sit back and let her contact you. Don't phone or text, or you'll just be "needy".

If you're looking for more of a commitment, it might well be time to look elsewhere.

Then again, maybe it's just that the moon was full and she'll be fine next week. Is she usually moody and unpredictable at that time of month?

Be Aloof and uninterested, if that doesn't make her come running, then she ain't worth it. Once people think they may have lost or be losing you, their attitude will change like the UK weather. Then say stuff like 'its not you its ME' if she starts questioning you about your new lack of interest. Its natural for a person to then blame themselves and start doing something about it, if she wants you. It might jsut be the familiarity thing rather than a geuine lack of affection for you. I love egg and tomato sandwhiches, when I attempted to eat them everyday for a month, I was sick of the sight of them. After a few weeks off, and on tuna and sweetcorn I was missing them !

I reckon it would be a good idea to tell her you won't be as clingy before you do back-off though.

Otherwise she might get the wrong end of the stick.

My girlfriend is clingy.... mind she does only see me 2 days every fortnight...

It's not such a bad thing, can be annoying though when I want a bit of time/space to myself

Not at all, don't tell her why! If you doesn't come after you, it was game over anyway.

Aren't these just the kinda games that Assasin8or's on about in the other thread?!